Clan Ravenclaw - Trading Reviews

chieori · February 2014

Clan Ravenclaw by @chieori
Short Code: NW-DU3QXH237

Mission Type: Forest Explorer and Dungeon Crawl
Average Duration: 25 minutes
Amount of Combat: Medium
Starts at: PE Gates, Crag Mountains

Mission Summary:

: Version: 5.2.1

:
The Forest Wardens have discovered kobolds in the woods near the Crag Mountains. While this is not strange in itself, this is not an area where kobolds normally go. The Wardens feel these kobolds are disturbing the wildlife and are not sure as to why they have settled in this area. The Wardens have sent in several members, trying to get information, but have not heard anything from them since. Travel to the Crag Mountains and speak with the Warden that watches the area. Find out why the kobolds have taken an interest in this area and what happened to the missing Wardens.

Author tips/hints:
There is a Difficulty Selector for each map, to increase the challenge of combat. Exploring is not a necessity, but it can reward you with additional encounters for experience. There are also clues scattered around that give a bit of back story and information, if you look for them.

Finished with reviews on this one, doing a few minor adjustments and calling it done for now. Thanks to those that reviewed it and gave me such helpful insight. Will finish the reviews listed below in the next day or two.

: Reviews Completed

:
The Puller of Strings: Part I - NW-DU2FHRFBA [post=7253431]Review![/post]
A Simple Retrieval - NW-DLK9RWOKU [post=7259601]Review![/post]
Following the Grey Society 2 - NW-DJWB79NPA [post=7265771]Review![/post]
Tempest in a Freepot - NW-DC8KGKXGH [post=7280341]Review![/post]
The Temple Of The Planes - NW-DAQDRO3NP [post=7285321]Review![/post]
Adventure In Ash Grove - NW-DKSPVAQKE [post=7306021]Review![/post]
The Summoning Chapter 1 - NW-DAN23WIAM [post=7321541]Review![/post]
Brightstone III: The Dig - NW-DN59EI2MS [post=7328091]Review![/post]

: Reviews Pending

:
~Closed ~ Finished Reviews~

Screenshots/attachments:

chinspinner · February 2014

Chieori, Just noticed you have your own thread, but already posted comments in mine (Puller of Strings).

chieori · February 2014

Chinspinner, thanks for running and reviewing my quest. Posting in your thread is fine, I requested the trade in your thread to begin with, so expected it to go there

chieori · February 2014

Updated to Version: 5.0.0

Change Log:
Added a option to change the Difficulty Settings in the Forest, this only affects the encounters involved in the story. The "Wildlife" encounters already have a few hard encounters scattered around, just have to find them. Started working on Difficulty Selector for the Dungeon map.

ladyorianna · February 2014

Hey, there! Just finished your quest, and I have to say that it was a lot of fun to run. It brought be back to playing DDO with the switches and looking for a key. Excellently done. Your scenes were amazing, and I enjoyed the story. I also loved the additional encounters that you added.

No complaints, though at the end when you are speaking with the ghost, it should be "cultists" not "cultist's". Great job!

chieori · February 2014

Greetings ladyorianna!

Thanks much for running my quest, really glad you enjoyed it

I still play DDO here and there. I really enjoyed many of their quests. Though I don't want to recopy a quest here from there, I do use some of the ideas I ran across in various quests there, such as the bridge and looking for keys. To me, it just has a more D&D old style feel to it.

I'll correct the text at the end

chieori · February 2014

Updated to Version: 5.0.1

Change Log:
Added Difficulty Selector to all maps.
Corrected a few typo's.
Added a bit more atmosphere related content to the forest.

stevedestiny · February 2014

I will trade reviews. I have three quests up: Adventure In Ash Grove [NW-DKSPVAQKE] A Wayward Heart [NW-DP3UINOHP] and DarkWatch Keep [NW-DERTSHLOH]. Author name @stevedestiny1 --these can currently be found in a search under the 'In Review' tab. For some reason they don't show up just scrolling through the general list.

say1o · February 2014

I too liked the edits. Great job!

I left a review this time and PM'd you the details.

chieori · February 2014

Thanks much for running it again say1o, much appreciated. I will take a look at the things you noticed and adjust as needed

chieori · February 2014

Updated to Version: 5.1.0

Change Log:

Changed all the traps in the quest to NOT be able to be disarmed by rogues. Instead, they can be disarmed via a "Trap Control Box" on the wall near each trap, which requires a "Trap Tool". Each trap consumes said tool, however there are tools located in the forest and in the dungeon, more than is required to disable all the traps. If you are so inclined to pickup the tools and disable them.

Added a couple Secret Doors that can be located and opened, if you have the proper item.(not trap tools) Having this item, will also highlight a few points of interest/danger during the quest. (This is part of a Side Quest, so it's not mandatory to complete the main story.)

say1o · February 2014

Oh!
Suggestion... You had a secret wall one interacts with. Might look better to use Door push on it? I bring it up only because the interact text said simply secret door. It was a wall.

Also since you are going with the control box method, don't forget to sink the trap triggers, they change to a cheese wheel icon.

That will add some extra fun.

chieori · February 2014

Updated to Version: 5.2.0

Change Log:

Since the quest is maintaining a run time of 26 minutes currently, I removed the Ritual Area and encounters from the base storyline. This area is now optional. However, clearing the area will give experience, from the kills and some lore about the story.

Also in an effort to shorten the run a little and still allow the player to do the Side Quest in the forest, which gives an item that is very useful later in the quest, I rewrote the Hunter Roc turn-in and script a little. I also moved him closer to the entrance for ease of access.

There are now several "Secret Doors/Passages" that can be found or located easier, if you have the item from Hunter Roc.

tipadaknife · February 2014

Hi! Starting this one now.

----

Ooooh, adjustable difficulties, I like it.

In the convo with Warden Christie, you don't really need an "I don't want to do this quest" response. I know that's pretty standard for quests, but -- people chose to take it and come here, if they decide they want to leave they can just hit the exit on the mini map. Unless there's some plot associated with that decision, makes sense to just save yourself some time and not worry about it.

Warden Christie: "Theres not much to tell really, ..." = "There's not much to tell, really.".

I'm not going to worry about misspellings and stuff after this one, but you might want to take a pass through the dialog and catch those spelling and grammar issues. You may want to copy the text into a word processor and back again, just to catch them.

I like how Hunter Roc alerts you to side quests....

Warden Baearen could be more "in character" about the difficulty settings, perhaps referring to a forest god who might be appeased (or angered) by a ritual he could perform, etc.

zoning commission should talk to the kobolds about building their camps in the middle of the road

Love the night falling as you approach the ruins, liked that a lot.

"You have reached an enpasse". Impasse? "You have passed the enpasse".

I liked the bridge puzzle. I think one of the kobolds claimed to be Shadarkai, though.

Keep on finding old toolbags with trap tools in them... have three now. Aha! Found a trap control box.

I like the overgrown-ness of the hideout. The walls are a little thin, and sometimes I find myself accidentally seeing what's on the other side. Oh, these were meant to be walked through? Clever.

Nice puzzle for the gold key -- I like how you animated the turning of the wheels. Could call them wheels instead of levers. I don't think you needed to put the hint in.

"fair much worse against me" -- "fare much worse"

Overall, I liked it a lot. The spelling needs some work, but Cryptic doesn't really have a very robust dialog editor, so it's easy to overlook these sorts of things. The maps were excellently done. It's easy to tell that you put a lot of work into the kobold hideout map.

I played on your normal mode in both maps, because I was playing with my lowbie ranger. The encounters seemed well tuned, though the boss was a little on the easy side, I thought.

Had fun! Thanks! Rated and reviewed.

chieori · February 2014

Hey Tipa, thanks much for running my quest, glad you liked it

I'll take a look at the spelling and grammar, most of the things I wanted to do in this quest are done now, so will be fine tuning it over the next week or so.

The difficulty settings I added in recently, wanted to make sure everything was working properly, before cleaning it up and adding some story to it. I like the idea though

I have a number of encounters from various types that have been reskinned, unfortunately, I can't do anything about how they talk in combat ;/

orangefiree · February 2014

Playing through now your quest now.

1.) It is really dark in the area near the hideout entrance. I'm fine with dark area, but I can barely see anything here.

2.) This bridge part reminds me of Sunken Sewer.

3.) Some kobolds carrying shields are labeled as kobold slyblades.

4.) Kill Sarsrans guards should probably be kill Sarsran's guards.

Great quest!

chieori · February 2014

Updated to Version: 5.2.1

Change Log:

Cleaned up the "benefits" the player gets for having the item from the side quest in the forest, easier to see and work with. Also added a secret area that can only be accessed if you have this item and you choose the proper options.

Added in the final plot portion of the story to the end. This was actually an after thought, which is why it wasn't in there to begin with. Hope you like it

ryanne · February 2014

Going to play this quest now!

If you don't mind, hope you can give me a bit of feedback and review on mine as well: The Summon Chapter 1 -- NW-DAN23WIAM

ryanne · February 2014

First, I'd like to compliment you on the scenery. It was very well done. The forest however seemed sloppy compared to your other maps. You can add some more details on the pathway so they don't look so empty.

I liked the key idea, made it more "original."

The quest overall can use more sound/music in the background.

I noticed in some of the text/dialogue you used "your" instead of "you're." Example: when talking to the spirit and to the hunter at the end. You can tell which "your/you're" to use since you're = you are; for example "you're good with scenery" and your for example = "Your quest was good."

Fun quest overall, well done!

chieori · February 2014

ryanne, thanks for running my quest, much appreciated. I will get to your quest tomorrow.

The paths are meant to be mostly empty, they are roads. When you get off the roads there are many things around, bushes, branches, rocks, trees, wildlife etc.

Unless you have things turned way down, there is ambient forest sounds covering the entire forest area as well as a number of wildlife sounds. I don't use music in the forest. There is music in the dungeon and all the effects, wheels etc all have their own individual sounds.

Edit: Seems a reverted setting removed the music I had set for the dungeon, went ahead and fixed it. Thanks for pointing it out.

chieori · February 2014

Greetings stevedestiny, I looked but didn't see a thread for your quests as yet, so am posting the review here. Hopefully you'll check

Inside the Blackdragon Inn - nice work on adding a variety of characters to the setting, made it look like a busy place, though perhaps a few more you could speak with might be good.

Leaving the inn, going to the "Road to AshGrove 3" may want to separate the words and is the 3 needed?

When speaking to the gypsies, she was all about me getting a mushroom, to cure her son and where it was etc, but we never discussed anything about the food for the guard. Later when I returned, she said she had the food ready as promised, but we never discussed food? Seems a bit disjointed.

The wolves in the first road map and inside the caves were just standing there, not moving. While the ones on the return trip to the road, they were all wandering around. May want to set "wander then combat" on the first road map and in the caves.

At the end of the caves, there were 2 Vargamor wolves, first was just Vargamor then in the next group there was a Vargamor Pack Leader.

The cave is a bit long, may want to put the exit as a cave on the wall behind Vargamor, rather than have the player walk all the way back to the entrance.

The Alchemist standing there in the middle of town with what 20-30 zombies all around, seemed somewhat improbable. Wouldn't they have killed her almost immediately with that many zombies?

-The crypt ... very very long, little to no detailing at all, most of the rooms were almost barren.
-None of the encounters that I came across were moving or animated in anyway. Just standing still in groups.
-All the orbs were the same color, yet the were named various colors. There are red, blue, green, yellow etc colored balls of light and round auras that can be used for those.
-All the doors were portcullis and none of them actually fit the door frames, looked quite odd. There are openable and nonopenable doors both wooden and metal that fit those doorways, might look at those.
-Because of the large expanses of rooms and no smoke/fog there was a lot of clipping in the distance as you walked around.

Overall your story itself is well written and the flow from part to part is done well. It just seemed like the wolf den and the crypts especially were overly large and not really necessary. Need quite a bit more detailing in the crypts, most of the rest was decently done.

dtz · February 2014

The map design is really good, and the combats are well-placed. However, the lack of music was felt very keenly.

chieori · February 2014

dtz, thanks for running my quest, much appreciated.

I had a few occasions were the client crashed on me while doing work on the quest, I had placed music as well as ambient sound, but I guess it got reverted and I didn't notice it ;/ After your post and the one from ryanne, I went and looked and saw it was missing. I added it back and republished it. Sorry I didn't notice it was gone beforehand.

chieori · February 2014

No longer trading reviews on this quest. Just finishing up the posted reviews on the first page. Thanks to all those that reviewed it.

stevedestiny · February 2014

Thanks Chieori for the review. I will be going back and looking at each issue to see what I can do to make this quest better.
I have made some more changes on Adventure in Ash Grove based on all your reviews. Thanks for the input. It was my first foundry, so there were a lot of design mistakes. The maps have been renamed, etc. I have to fix the dialogue with Drelnza...I think a dialogue got cut when I deleted a few maps to reduce all the running about. I had not realized, my first go with the foundry, that I could put multiple objectives on one map. My level design was based on old school Pen and Paper games. The map for Tomb of the Ancient Warriors was generated using donjons random dungeon generator. Layout looks great....but such level design does not work well in this type of game: it is too big! I still have work to do on this quest. I will be re-building the wolf den and the tomb to make the game look better and to reduce the running time...also to improve aesthetics. I have learned a lot making the quests after. A Wayward Heart turned out much better. DarkWatch Keep is even better. My current project: Blutsauger Cathedral is outstanding, but is still work in progress. Building awesome maps and decorating them takes time. I am more into building custom maps from scratch wherever possible. I love the dungeon kit pieces, now that I know how to use them and free camera mode =D Now I wish they had mine, crypt and more house pieces. Some more props would be great too.

ducdilimoni · February 2014

I'll trade reviews for this one (already replied to one of yours).
You can pick any of mine to review.

Evil Gnome Night
Behind The Crawler Below
Night of the Cave People

I'll get to reviewing some time today.

Clan Ravenclaw - Trading Reviews

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