The Botaniqarium

basilisque · January 2014

The Botaniqarium

"I love gardens. A perfect integration of the order and intellect of civilization with nature's chaotic beauty.
I will build the best one. The greatest garden that the world ever saw, but which the world will never see.
It will be yours, and mine. Yours and mine alone. No-one else.
You'll sit in it forever. You will appreciate it's beauty once I'm gone, won't you? You will watch it's flora in my place... until the end."

________________________________

Hello everyone! My name is Basilisque, and I haven't really been active in Neverwinter since back when it was in beta.
Back then the foundry was rather frustrating to work with, and despite my love for map editors it didn't take long before I got tired of working in it. I just recently returned to the game, and was more than happy when I found out how many improvements the foundry has received since then.
So, I buckled up and decided to try my hand at making a campaign once again.
The result, 'The Botaniqarium', is a campaign in which I will focus on narrative and creating areas that people will want to explore. Due to the nature of the narrative I also plan to make the later parts of it rather challenging, but that is sort of a secondary objective.

This is the second quest that I ever finished making so I still have plenty to learn, but I think that I've managed to achieve at least some level of quality.
The campaign's first chaper, 'A Construct's Prison', can be found below. As I finish making the other chapters I will be posting them in this thread as well, along with a changelog for the many edits and fixes that will no-doubt occur, so stay tuned if I've managed to catch your interest!

Cheers!
-Basilisque

________________________________

Chapter One: A Construct's Prison
Short Code: NW-DMSU8OJTV
Mission Type: ???

Dave the Unnecessarily Nasty, a cannibalistic half-orc-half-drow bandit lord who specializes in slave trade and torture, recently kidnapped a bunch of drow, tortured them, ate them and sold their bones into slavery. He had finally crossed the line for the last time, and a minor crusade was launched against him shortly afterwards. His unreasonably unpleasant bandit empire now lies in ruin, and Dave has hidden himself in a bandit camp somewhere in the mountains.

You have been tasked with finding Dave, finishing him off and freeing his last prisoners. It should be a simple job for someone of your talents, despite Dave's reputation.

CHANGELOG:
Jan 5. 2014
-Moved a few relevant objects to make them more visible.
-Fixed a few typos.
-Added a few extra dialogue choices for flavor.
-Made slight changes to dialogue and quest text.
Jan 6. 2014
-Fixed missing text.
-Removed unnecessary props to combat performance issues.
-Fixed misplaced details.
Jan 8. 2014
-Fixed changelog punctuation inconsistency in forum thread.
Jan 9. 2014
-Increased difficulty in the early areas and added an extra encounter later on.
-Replaced details that were interfering with encounter AI.
-Fixed some floating rocks.
-Added an extra objective with comedic purposes.
________________________________

Chapter Two: Raggyon
Short Code: NW-DGIZVSQPU
Mission Type: ???

It has been three weeks since your trip through The Botaniqarium.
You wake up one morning to find a grey-feathered carrier pigeon pecking furiously at your window, and in a small leather pouch bound to it's chest you find a simple unsealed envelope. The letter reads as follows;

“I saw you leave. I know you've seen what I've seen.
You read the note too, didn't you? Something is wrong with that place, really d[INKBLOT]mn wrong, and I intend to figure out what the he[INKBLOT] is going on.
I promise that I will make it worth your while if you assist me. Please, come see me as soon as you can.

-L”

In the envelope you also find a map of the sword coast, with a location marked on it and instructions about how to get there.
It looks like you are going to need a boat.

CHANGELOG:
Jan 11. 2014
-Fixed incorrect text.
-Made slight balance changes.
Jan 14. 2014
-Added extra objective to avoid confusion.
Jan 16. 2014
-Fixed typoes
-Disabled minimap on one of the later maps
Jan 17. 2014
-Added adjustable difficulty in one of the later areas
-Moved a respawn point and changed some pathing

________________________________

kellnaforian · January 2014

I was really impressed with this quest. I left a review and a tip. Really good map making. I suspect a lot of replayability and will most likely run it a few more times. Again, loved the maps.

I was confused with the floating notes at first and was wondering how you could have missed such a thing in your own run throughs...but it made sense a short while later. Really nice job!

basilisque · January 2014

kellnaforian wrote: »

I was really impressed with this quest. I left a review and a tip. Really good map making. I suspect a lot of replayability and will most likely run it a few more times. Again, loved the maps.

I was confused with the floating notes at first and was wondering how you could have missed such a thing in your own run throughs...but it made sense a short while later. Really nice job!

Thank you very much for playing my quest!
I'm glad you liked it, and I assure you that I am already working on the next quest in the campaign.

Based on feedback I got from some friends and family that helped me test the map I have already made a few changes.
Spoiler-free changelog added to the first post.

tipadaknife · January 2014

Starting this one now. I would really appreciate it if you would play and review The Sealing of Najena's Lair, NW-DBQH5L5QB. Thanks!

---

"A bandit encampment somewhere in the mountains" -- no need to capitalize every word.

Nice encampment! I wonder if I was nastier than Dave. I DID attack his camp with no provocation, and from a distance, instantly killing at least one bandit.

Wow, map shows you made the world from hundreds of large disc paving stones. That's an astonishing amount of hand-crafted scenery. Wonderful work. Since this is all bespoke, I have no sparkly showing me where to go. I like this very much. Movable barrels! I wonder if they are part of a puzzle.

Aha, a very ominous dungeon. Nice effects.

Notes in the air; I know from above they are here on purpose. But why?

These doors remind me of the opening to Get Smart. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kv3kcnI72Ec

Is this the Cube?

Ahhhh the walls whisk away, we've been on the next map all along! Clever!

Hello, this is crazy, and I just met you, but I've got your number, and I'm sniping you dead from a distance.... poor orcs.

Another hand-made map, nice.

The fights are a lot too easy, at least for a hunter. Is that because I signed the book with my own name?

So the real trial begins now.

Wow, graphics performance took a dive on this map. There's the Janitor who wants me to keep out of the water. He jumped right in. Same with that fire sentient. Jumped right in.

Found some floating vegetation as I was searching for the way back up to the board walks.

Juries are clerics; who knew?

The door the terrible trio guard just says "Go to next map." Perhaps something less generic?

I loved this! Five stars, max tip, can't wait for the next chapter.

basilisque · January 2014

tipadaknife wrote: »

Starting this one now. I would really appreciate it if you would play and review The Sealing of Najena's Lair, NW-DBQH5L5QB. Thanks!

---

"A bandit encampment somewhere in the mountains" -- no need to capitalize every word.

Nice encampment! I wonder if I was nastier than Dave. I DID attack his camp with no provocation, and from a distance, instantly killing at least one bandit.

Wow, map shows you made the world from hundreds of large disc paving stones. That's an astonishing amount of hand-crafted scenery. Wonderful work. Since this is all bespoke, I have no sparkly showing me where to go. I like this very much. Movable barrels! I wonder if they are part of a puzzle.

Aha, a very ominous dungeon. Nice effects.

Notes in the air; I know from above they are here on purpose. But why?

These doors remind me of the opening to Get Smart. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kv3kcnI72Ec

Is this the Cube?

Ahhhh the walls whisk away, we've been on the next map all along! Clever!

Hello, this is crazy, and I just met you, but I've got your number, and I'm sniping you dead from a distance.... poor orcs.

Another hand-made map, nice.

The fights are a lot too easy, at least for a hunter. Is that because I signed the book with my own name?

So the real trial begins now.

Wow, graphics performance took a dive on this map. There's the Janitor who wants me to keep out of the water. He jumped right in. Same with that fire sentient. Jumped right in.

Found some floating vegetation as I was searching for the way back up to the board walks.

Juries are clerics; who knew?

The door the terrible trio guard just says "Go to next map." Perhaps something less generic?

I loved this! Five stars, max tip, can't wait for the next chapter.

Thanks a lot for the playthrough! ^^
I'm glad that you liked it, and the fact that you posted your thoughts in such a humorous fashion has not gone unappreciated.

Regarding the graphics dive on [A MAP], I'm not really sure what's causing it. My guess is over-decoration, as I did go slightly overboard there. :P
I've already made several detail-removal runs before the first time I published, but I guess it's still a bit too much. So, I've removed most of the background details to try and fix this. The amount of stuff I've placed which 90% of the people playing through the quest won't actually see was sorta' high...
Thanks for notifying me of the lacking interact text on the last doorway. I totally let that one slip.

I'll definitely give your quest a look. Cheers!

chieori · January 2014

Greetings basilisque!

Thanks for running my quest, greatly appreciated!

I had a chance to run A Construct's Prison tonight, the detailing on each map, shows how much time you took to craft it and the care and love put into them. Really marvelous work! The story is well written and the combat was fine, though often times a bit weak. Liked the custom naming and outfits of the encounters. Nice work!

I did notice a few things on my run ...

The first campsite - With all the trees swaying so wildly and the heavy fog, it was a little laggy, but other wise nicely done.
-the tents had stakes to hold them down, but there were no guide wires going to any of them.(there are some wires that can be attached in details)
-there are 2 trees, that are partly on dirt/grass and partly inside large rocks, doesn't look like they would be able to grow through something that thick.
-(suggestion) Put in an optional fog control on this map, instead of placing in backdrop, put it right on the map, then players with lower end PC's can choose to select a lower fog setting, can use a contact item at the entrance for it, or a floating scroll.)

I noticed on the bridges in the later maps, some of the encounters were melee types and chose to simply jump over the bridges and attack, rather than use the walkways. Some of them were ranged type and kept there place.

About the only thing I found lacking, was I spent a lot of time looking at loading screens. The quest is fairly short though, so it's tolerable.

basilisque · January 2014

chieori wrote: »

Greetings basilisque!

Thanks for running my quest, greatly appreciated!

I had a chance to run A Construct's Prison tonight, the detailing on each map, shows how much time you took to craft it and the care and love put into them. Really marvelous work! The story is well written and the combat was fine, though often times a bit weak. Liked the custom naming and outfits of the encounters. Nice work!

I did notice a few things on my run ...

The first campsite - With all the trees swaying so wildly and the heavy fog, it was a little laggy, but other wise nicely done.
-the tents had stakes to hold them down, but there were no guide wires going to any of them.(there are some wires that can be attached in details)
-there are 2 trees, that are partly on dirt/grass and partly inside large rocks, doesn't look like they would be able to grow through something that thick.
-(suggestion) Put in an optional fog control on this map, instead of placing in backdrop, put it right on the map, then players with lower end PC's can choose to select a lower fog setting, can use a contact item at the entrance for it, or a floating scroll.)

I noticed on the bridges in the later maps, some of the encounters were melee types and chose to simply jump over the bridges and attack, rather than use the walkways. Some of them were ranged type and kept there place.

About the only thing I found lacking, was I spent a lot of time looking at loading screens. The quest is fairly short though, so it's tolerable.

Thanks a lot for pointing out those misplaced trees and lacking tent wires. I've already made the fixes and I'll consider looking into the other suggestions you've made.
Cheers!

tipadaknife · January 2014

A friend and I do Monday night Foundry runs for fun, and I suggested we go through this one. He loved it

So, thanks again, and WHERE IS THAT SECOND CHAPTER!!???

basilisque · January 2014

*cowers in fear*
Sorry! Sorry! It's going to be a bit, as the second part is a decent bit longer and has several times more dialogue (not even mentioning the optional ones).
I'm working at top speed though, so unless something terrible happens I can guarantee that it will be ready for your potential enjoyment sometime this weekend or sooner!

(Oh, and also I've been playing n' reviewing the adventures of all the fine folks who's played my stuff. That takes a bit of time too.

)

Thanks again for your support. ^^

solomonlok · January 2014

That's got to be one of the best custom maps I've seen so far, good job. I like the idea and the multiple possible pathways.

Would be great to run as a daily but you got down to 13 minutes

Figured I run it with my almost naked lvl 14 GF to bring the play time up. Was pretty moderately challenging, but I think any decent level 60 will breeze through with ease. Only thing was the fight at the end for me (2 Jurys and 1 Executioner) that took me like 5 Potions.

2 Minor issues:
- scrolls in the hall of warning are not aligned :P (sorry, my OCD speaking here

)
- no introduction at all until half way through maybe have someone on the very first zone explain why you even bother going there. Well if you don't count the description in the catalog that is.

Still, 5 stars well earned.

PS: feedback on my foundry would be greatly appreciated.

basilisque · January 2014

solomonlok wrote: »

That's got to be one of the best custom maps I've seen so far, good job. I like the idea and the multiple possible pathways.

Would be great to run as a daily but you got down to 13 minutes Figured I run it with my almost naked lvl 14 GF to bring the play time up. Was pretty moderately challenging, but I think any decent level 60 will breeze through with ease. Only thing was the fight at the end for me (2 Jurys and 1 Executioner) that took me like 5 Potions.

2 Minor issues:
- scrolls in the hall of warning are not aligned :P (sorry, my OCD speaking here )
- no introduction at all until half way through maybe have someone on the very first zone explain why you even bother going there. Well if you don't count the description in the catalog that is.

Still, 5 stars well earned.

PS: feedback on my foundry would be greatly appreciated.

Thanks for playing! ^^
A shame that the map's average length got down to 13 minutes, but it is only the introduction to the campaign so I guess it aint all that bad.
As for the scrolls; I went out of my way to make their placement seem chaotic (while still being 'in line of sight'. *sigh*), so rest assured knowing that their disorderly placement is on purpose.
In the case of an introduction for the adventure... Well, I think just about the only thing us authors can rightfully assume is that people will read the **** quest description. :P
(Also, it was Judge, Jury and Executioner! Mucho importante.)

I'll gladly take a look at your stuff when I have some time, but I've already got a few other foundry quests on my to-do list so don't be surprised if it takes a bit.

Also, for those few of you awaiting Chapter 2, here's a teaser:

This is not inside The Botaniqarium, by the way.

orangefiree · January 2014

I will take a look at this as soon as possible. It looks really good from the screenshots. I will try to go AFK for a few minutes in it since your average duration is below 15 minutes and playing through with a high DPS rogue is not going to help with that at all otherwise.

Any chance you could take a look The Planar Conflict (Shortcode is in my signature.)? You don't have to do the whole thing, though the story continues throughout the campaign.

basilisque · January 2014

orangefiree wrote: »

I will take a look at this as soon as possible. It looks really good from the screenshots. I will try to go AFK for a few minutes in it since your average duration is below 15 minutes and playing through with a high DPS rogue is not going to help with that at all otherwise.

Any chance you could take a look The Planar Conflict (Shortcode is in my signature.)? You don't have to do the whole thing, though the story continues throughout the campaign.

Sounds grand.

In other news, Chapter Two is ready to be played!

_______________

Chapter Two: Raggyon
Short Code: NW-DGIZVSQPU
Mission Type: ???

It has been three weeks since your trip through The Botaniqarium.
You wake up one morning to find a grey-feathered carrier pigeon pecking furiously at your window, and in a small leather pouch bound to it's chest you find a simple unsealed envelope. The letter reads as follows;

“I saw you leave. I know you've seen what I've seen.
You read the note too, didn't you? Something is wrong with that place, really d[INKBLOT]mn wrong, and I intend to figure out what the he[INKBLOT] is going on.
I promise that I will make it worth your while if you assist me. Please, come see me as soon as you can.

-L”

In the envelope you also find a map of the sword coast, with a location marked on it and instructions about how to get there.
It looks like you are going to need a boat.

orangefiree · January 2014

Sorry, I played through a couple days ago and forgot to leave a review here.

I really enjoyed it, the area and enemy costumes both felt unique. (I don't think a single enemy was uncustomized except for the bandits at the start.) The storyline was good and had me waiting for the next chapter. (Which I am about the play.) I really didn't notice any issues. Though I was wondering about the floating notes, it might be nice to mention something about why they are not on the ground. (If you did and I missed it, just ignore this part.)

orangefiree · January 2014

Ok, first thing I noticed in the second one, "Daniel Glaidhe" introduces himself as "David Glaidhe".

Where did Liers go? She said she was going to come with me.

I thought I killed the Janitor already.

As a side note, my Janitor fight went rather interesting. I killed the flamespikers and then got pushed off the platform into two more setinent clerics (For a total of three.) and a Malfunction. it was pretty tough but I did actually manage to survive.

At the end, both the objective and transition say "Go to next map." There is also no specific item to interact with.

I was a little confused on the story at the end. Liers never made an appearance again and it seemed to just end rather abruptly.

basilisque · January 2014

Thanks for playing man. ^^

Ok, first thing I noticed in the second one, "Daniel Glaidhe" introduces himself as "David Glaidhe".

Oops. Fixed.

Where did Liers go? She said she was going to come with me.

*devilish grin*

I thought I killed the Janitor already.

Well you didn't do a very good job of it, did ya? :P

As a side note, my Janitor fight went rather interesting. I killed the flamespikers and then got pushed off the platform into two more setinent clerics (For a total of three.) and a Malfunction. it was pretty tough but I did actually manage to survive.

Myeah, I might want to change the encounter which The Janitor fight is based on to something that doesn't have a knockback. Just for the purposes of this specific map. :P

At the end, both the objective and transition say "Go to next map." There is also no specific item to interact with.

Huh, I don't get this one. I've checked all of the objectives, and they all have their proper text.

I was a little confused on the story at the end. Liers never made an appearance again

*an even more devilish grin*

and it seemed to just end rather abruptly.

I'll give you that the ending is rather abrupt. I've been considering adding some extra stuff, but we'll see what people think.

orangefiree · January 2014

basilisque wrote: »

Thanks for playing man. ^^

Oops. Fixed.

*devilish grin*

Well you didn't do a very good job of it, did ya? :P

Myeah, I might want to change the encounter which The Janitor fight is based on to something that doesn't have a knockback. Just for the purposes of this specific map. :P

Huh, I don't get this one. I've checked all of the objectives, and they all have their proper text.

*an even more devilish grin*

I'll give you that the ending is rather abrupt. I've been considering adding some extra stuff, but we'll see what people think.

"Go to next map" was the exit objective which doesn't show up with normal objectives.

For the ending, I think just an extra dialogue or something could probably conclude it pretty well.

basilisque · January 2014

Ah, the exit objective. Fixed. Also changed the base encounter of the janitor, just to avoid issues.

EDIT: Updates applied and currently being published.

casmelak · January 2014

The Botanqarium: A Construct's Prison by @basilisque
NW-DMSU8OJTV

Played and reviewed

===============================

Overall: Very, very nicely designed and layed out. The story is intriguing, yet not so overbearing that you feel like you're being led by the nose. Some of the combat was repetitive, but not too hard. Generally, just a well made, albeit short, quest.

Starred and tipped.

My detailed notes are below. Please know that you can take these with a grain of salt, they're just some suggestions and stream of consciousness notes as I played through.

If you're up for it I'd love more feedback for my quests. I'm planning on running/reviewing more of your campaign tonight.

"The Divinity of Lankeshire" by @casmelak
Short Code: NW-DF7Y9QTCM

"A Time for Death" by @casmelak
Short Code: NW-DDVSHT5TY

SETTING - A Bandit Encampment Somewhere in the Mountains

++++++++++++++++
Details
++++++++++++++++

+Very pretty and lush environment.
+Nice use of the illusion!

-You're using the prefab tent/campsite. The angle you have to make it to fit the uneven ground makes a bunch of stuff look like it's buried. Don't know if that's the desired effect.

++++++++++++++++
Dialogue
++++++++++++++++

Torture cage:

"Its lock is broken, just like the chains lying on the ground around it. Somebody broke out of this cage, and judging by the footprints leading away from it the breakout happened very recently."

Consider:

"It's lock is broken, just like the chains lying on the ground around it. Somebody broke out of this cage and, judging by the footprints leading away from it, the breakout happened very recently."

SETTING - A Very Ominous cave

++++++++++++++++
Details
++++++++++++++++

+I like the notes... very funny.

++++++++++++++++
Dialogue
++++++++++++++++

Generally good.

Nothing worth noting.

SETTING - The Botaniqarium

++++++++++++++++
Details
++++++++++++++++

+Nice little trap room
+Very cleverly done with the vanishing room!
+VERY pretty environment.
+I like the costumes a lot.

-Despite the janitor's warning both the mobs and my companion, evidently, felt like a swim.

+Consider the janitor's warning to be more like "Fishing corpses from the water has become tiresome."

++++++++++++++++
Dialogue
++++++++++++++++

Old Book:

"At first the text within it appears to be like nothing more than gibberish, but after a few seconds it begins rearranging itself into a language you understand."

Consider:

"At first, the text within it, appears to be like nothing more than gibberish; but, after a few seconds, it begins to rearrange itself into a language you understand."

Prompt: "Next Page"

"It is no big surprise that our other external safety measures have failed as well, since the magic of this damned place only maintains its own foul machinery."

Consider:

"It is no big surprise that our other, external, safety measures have failed as well, since the magic of this damned place only maintains it's own foul machinery."

Prompt: "Next Page" x2

"It is too late to turn back now. I wish I could simply let you leave, but even if that was within my power I am currently fast asleep far beneath your feet."

Consider:

"It is too late to turn back now. I wish I could simply let you leave, but, even if that were within my power, I am currently fast asleep far beneath your feet."

Prompt: "Next Page" x3

"Should this happen I urge you to get out of here as fast as you can and never return. Do not look back, do not wonder what this place was and pretend that all this never happened."

Consider: (Oxford commas FTW!)

"Should this happen, I urge you to get out of here as fast as you can and never return. Do not look back, do not wonder what this place was, and pretend that all of this never happened."

Prompt: "Next Page" x4

"I am afraid that there is little more which I can tell you within the boundaries of the restrictions which have been placed on me. There is but one last piece of advice for me to give you;"

Consider:

"I am afraid that there is little more that I can tell you, within the boundaries of the restrictions placed on me. There is but one last piece of advice for me to give you:"

Prompt: [Whatever option for signature]

"As soon as you are finished writing the quill and inkwell disappear.

...

Oh and, one last thing;

...

With that the book slams shut."

Consider:

"As soon as you are finished writing, the quill and inkwell disappear.

...

Oh, and, one last thing:

...

With that, the book slams shut."

SETTING - Dubjorn's Hut

++++++++++++++++
Details
++++++++++++++++

+Nice little room
+I like the costumes a lot.

+Dubjorn's a construct with an irony protocol!

++++++++++++++++
Dialogue
++++++++++++++++

Dubjorn

Prompt: "Four is not nearly enough. If you wanna' show people that you aren't messing around, go with thirty-six."

Consider: (I just think it would be funny if you used either 11, or 42 as the number.)

Prompt: "You think notes will keep people out? Man, if you really want to keep people out try some bees."

Consider:

"You think notes will keep people out? Man... If you really want to keep people out, try some bees."

Prompt: [First choice selection]

"Since you've come this far, I am allowed by the rules of The Botaniqarium to provide you some slight guidance.
The fact that you've reached me means that you are almost halfway through your trial.

...

No matter what it might claim this place wants to kill you."

Consider:

"Since you've come this far, I am allowed, by the rules of The Botaniqarium, to provide you some slight guidance.
The fact that you've reached me, means that you are almost halfway through your trial.

...

No matter what it might claim, this place wants to kill you."

Prompt: "Got it. Is there anything else you can tell me?"

"I'm afraid not, but I can remind you to keep in mind what you have already been told."

Consider:

"I'm afraid not, other than to remind you to keep in mind what you've already been told."

SETTING - The Tower

++++++++++++++++
Details
++++++++++++++++

+Very pretty... though not very TOWER like.
+Again, nice job with the costumes.
+Nice combat, well layed out, if a bit repetitive with the groups.

-Yeah, the fog is a BIT laggy making.

=Oh, NOW I can go in the water!

++++++++++++++++
Dialogue
++++++++++++++++

N/A

SETTING - The End

++++++++++++++++
Details
++++++++++++++++

+Very pretty...******, now you're making me repeat myself!

=I WANNA READ THE BLOODY SCROooollll! I wanna, I wanna, I wanna.
+I get to!

-Exit door. Human interior looks like. Somewhat sunk into the ground, and doesn't fit the space too well. Consider just using an invisible interactable there instead of an overlay door.

++++++++++++++++
Dialogue
++++++++++++++++

Bloody scroll:

"It looks like someone has tried to wipe the blood off it, but their efforts were in vain. At the very bottom of the scroll a single line is still readable."

Consider:

"It looks like someone tried to wipe the blood off of it, but their efforts were in vain. At the very bottom of the scroll, a single line is still legible."

basilisque · January 2014

Thanks a bunch for reviewing my quest. ^^ Sorry for not responding to this earlier, but I've been pretty busy IRL so I completely forgot to reply despite actually reading this not long after you posted.

Your criticism looks solid and well-grounded, and I'll definitely consider some of the changes to the writing that you've recommended.
Cheers!

myrmecoleon · January 2014

Just ran through Raggyon (I'd actually run through the first quest before, but closed the review tab before I could review it!). The environment design and dialogue were both outstanding throughout, with some fantastic touches at the inn and the last combat map. The storytelling held my interest throughout, and I'm eagerly awaiting the next instalment! More detailed thoughts below.

- The Glaidhe Halls were nicely done - particularly the entrance area. This might be my silly side coming through, but I loved the dialogue in the Halls and in the inn. (Particularly the troll-ish responses!) The rocks in the inn were an inspired touch - I wouldn't have thought something like that would have worked, but it fit together very well indeed. Out of interest, is there any downside in lying to Lires?

- I liked the lighting for the caves/royal crypt area where Raggyon resides. Good choice of music, too. The traps are a negligible threat, but that's really a Foundry scaling problem and not an issue with the map. In the Raggyon dialogue, "cuasing" should be "causing" and "crystaline" should be "crystalline".

- Damned janitor. I really need to burn that corpse. The three-sentient encounter also had me chugging potions like I'd been out in the desert for days, but that might be my lack of skill showing! Or maybe I ought to have moved out of that wight commander AoE faster.

Overall, a very enjoyable adventure! I'm definitely looking forward to playing through the rest of the campaign.

docsc00ter · January 2014

Just played through parts 1 & 2. Excellent maps! Fun storytelling! The dialogue was entertaining and engaging, and I thoroughly enjoyed them both. Looking forward to more!!!

basilisque · January 2014

myrmecoleon wrote: »

Just ran through Raggyon (I'd actually run through the first quest before, but closed the review tab before I could review it!). The environment design and dialogue were both outstanding throughout, with some fantastic touches at the inn and the last combat map. The storytelling held my interest throughout, and I'm eagerly awaiting the next instalment! More detailed thoughts below.

- The Glaidhe Halls were nicely done - particularly the entrance area. This might be my silly side coming through, but I loved the dialogue in the Halls and in the inn. (Particularly the troll-ish responses!) The rocks in the inn were an inspired touch - I wouldn't have thought something like that would have worked, but it fit together very well indeed. Out of interest, is there any downside in lying to Lires?

- I liked the lighting for the caves/royal crypt area where Raggyon resides. Good choice of music, too. The traps are a negligible threat, but that's really a Foundry scaling problem and not an issue with the map. In the Raggyon dialogue, "cuasing" should be "causing" and "crystaline" should be "crystalline".

- Damned janitor. I really need to burn that corpse. The three-sentient encounter also had me chugging potions like I'd been out in the desert for days, but that might be my lack of skill showing! Or maybe I ought to have moved out of that wight commander AoE faster.

Overall, a very enjoyable adventure! I'm definitely looking forward to playing through the rest of the campaign.

Thank you! I've fixed the typoes you've pointed out.
I'm glad to hear that you liked the two first adventures, although It's a shame that you didn't manage to review the first one.

Lookin' forwards to playing some more of your stuff as well, and I hope we'll talk more in the future.
Cheers!

docsc00ter wrote: »

Just played through parts 1 & 2. Excellent maps! Fun storytelling! The dialogue was entertaining and engaging, and I thoroughly enjoyed them both. Looking forward to more!!!

Thanks for playing man! ^^ I'm glad you liked it, and unless SOMETHING TERRIBLE happens then the next part should be coming out not too far from now.

Cheers!
-Basilisque

casmelak · January 2014

The Botanqarium: Raggyon by @basilisque
NW-DGIZVSQPU

Played, reviewed, starred, tipped

===============================

Overall: I liked this chapter quite a bit. I am really liking the story and look forward to the next part.

A couple of points.

First, the combat gets a liiiitle bit over the top during 'The Drop'. Now, granted, combat is generally a cake-walk for people, but it's normally a cake-walk for me too. For my part, I like a challenge, but I'm not up for going through a stack of potions. That said, I know for a fact that there's NO WAY my cleric would be able to even complete this quest. Second, the respawn point over the Janitor is what I would call a 'd**k move'. I don't know if you are interested in making it more accessible, but that's definitely something that I would recommend changing if you are.

I gave this a 5/5 because of how awesome everything is in general. There's some rough spots; typos, a few floaty bits, respawn point in an...unfortunate place. But overall design and conception are stellar.

My detailed notes are below. Please know that you can take these with a grain of salt, they're just some suggestions and stream of consciousness notes as I played through.

If you're up for it I'd love more feedback for my quests, particularly the second one, though I've made some updates to the first if you're interested.

"The Divinity of Lankeshire" by @casmelak
Short Code: NW-DF7Y9QTCM

"A Time for Death" by @casmelak
Short Code: NW-DDVSHT5TY

SETTING - Glaidhe Halls

++++++++++++++++
Details
++++++++++++++++

+"I'm on a BOAT M********ER!"

=Guard appears suspicious of the water...foreshadowing? In the FOUNDRY!?

+Really like the backdrop, music, and moored airship in the background. Very nice touch. With the plants and the architecture this looks very well laid out.

-I don't understand the platform sticking out to the sides of the first big staircase.

-Houses kinda stuck in the ground. Assuming that that's to get around uneven terrain. Consider throwing a foundation under them instead.

-Flower box in the north-eastern corner next to the wall of the house is floating a bit.

-Big wall sconce on the wall of the first house on the left. Fire hazard. Directly underneath the wood balcony.

-There's a rock immediately to the right at the top of the staircase that appears to be floating. Recommend putting something underneath it.

++++++++++++++++
Dialogue
++++++++++++++++

Daniel Glaidhe

Prompt:

What is this place? It's like a small village!

There's actually a small town hidden further inland behind the cliffs, but unless you're here on an extended stay you probably won't be seein' them.

Consider:

There's actually a small town hidden further inland behind the cliffs, but, unless you're here on an extended stay, you probably won't be seein' anyone from there.

SETTING - Glaidhe Halls Interior

++++++++++++++++
Details
++++++++++++++++

+LOVE the rocks and stuff sticking through the walls! Nicely done tying that in to the interior.

-A few doors seem...ill-suited to their purpose. I'm not going to dock you on that though 'cause I well know the limitations in the system.

-You have some oddly mixed architecture inside. The wall between the tree and upstairs balcony is too...shiny and rocky. I'd suggest using the same type of wall as the rest. To the extent that that's practicable. I recognize that it's likely there to cover some feature of the room, but it would still look better with the other wall type as lacquer.

++++++++++++++++
Dialogue
++++++++++++++++

Jonathon Glaidhe

My name is Jonathon Glaidhe, guide of the Glaidhe Family.

Consider:

I am Jonathon Glaidhe, guide of the Glaidhe Family.

My name is Jonathon Glaidhe, and I am the guide of the Glaidhe Family.

@Prompt:

What's with all the rocks and the giant tree?

Prompt:

Ah, I see. Well, I beeter get going. Goodbye!

Consider: 'beeter' -> 'better'

Lires Glaidhe

@Prompt:

Explanation. Now.

Well, I know how your story goes so I guess I might as well it's only fair that I tell you mine.

Consider: Rewrite. Sounds like you had your thoughts interrupted while writing this sentance. Humble suggestion below.

Well, I know how your story goes. So, I guess it's only fair that I tell you mine.

@Prompt:

Explanation. Now.

but I woke up in a **** uncomfortable

Consider: "[damned | damnably] uncomfortable"

@Prompt:

You were the halfling woman that Dubjorn talked about!

You'll forgive me for not knowing whether to trust you or not a the time, but it seemed like the best course of action to stay hidden and follow in your footsteps.

Consider: (a -> at, could be awkward sentance structure)

You'll forgive me for not knowing whether to trust you. At the time it seemed that the best course of action was to stay hidden and follow in your footsteps.

@Prompt: Yes, I took something....

Thing is, ever since this gate started appearing a few days ago I have only been able to see it while holding this pebble.

Consider: could be awkward without a comma or two

Thing is, this gate started appearing a few days ago, but I only see it while holding this pebble.

SETTING - Overgrown Corridors

++++++++++++++++
Details
++++++++++++++++

+Nice mushroom you've got there.

-Interactable dialog points. The note and the 'invisible sphere'. If you check the checkbox for 'interactable' on them, and give them a name, the name will show up when the player mouses over them. If you don't give them an 'interactable text' it will just show the name instead of 'press x to interact'

+Impressive golem costume!

+Oooh, NICELY done with the hole into the dungeon.

+Music is well done.

SUPERLATIVES!

++++++++++++++++
Dialogue
++++++++++++++++

Raggyon

An aura of cold emanates from its body, caussing a layer of rime to appear on the ground around it. Its crystalline eyes stare at you with an unsettling intensity.

Consider: ('caussing' -> extra s) apostrophe for "It's crystalline"

SETTING - The Drop

++++++++++++++++
Details
++++++++++++++++

+Note from the Janitor++

+Fog of war time

+Really like the costumes.

=NOTE: STRONGLY recommend moving the respawn point. Putting the respawn right on top of the hardest group in the area is not the best call. A lot of people would just drop the quest right there.

=yeah...this quest...is seriously harder than any I've done. I, normally, might take a potion once during the course of an exceptionally hard fight. I didn't use a single potion through your last quest, for reference. The Wraith with the two clerics is damned near impossible in that small a space. No maneuverability. I don't know...is there difficulty scaling that I missed? I know a lot of people wouldn't even make it through this quest. It's not a criticism, just an observation. Some people LIKE a really hard quest. For myself, I'd prefer not to guzzle all my potions. This quest was, literally, the second time I've EVER had my character die (37 Rogue). That includes farming 5 man dungeons with 3 people 2 levels below the content. (just saying I don't completely suck)

SETTING - Glaidhe Halls Interior

++++++++++++++++
Details
++++++++++++++++

n/a (already noted)

++++++++++++++++
Dialogue
++++++++++++++++

Raggyon

I've just been given the choice of explaining 'just what the heck is ging on' or get stabbed a lot.

Consider: going, missing 'o', 'getting' missing...well, 'ting'.

basilisque · January 2014

casmelak wrote: »

The Botanqarium: Raggyon by @basilisque
NW-DGIZVSQPU

Played, reviewed, starred, tipped

===============================

Overall: I liked this chapter quite a bit. I am really liking the story and look forward to the next part.

A couple of points.

First, the combat gets a liiiitle bit over the top during 'The Drop'. Now, granted, combat is generally a cake-walk for people, but it's normally a cake-walk for me too. For my part, I like a challenge, but I'm not up for going through a stack of po - - -

Thanks a lot for your feedback!
You're probably right as far as the combat difficulty goes, and although I still plan to make the lore-correct frustratingly hard encounters of The Botaniqarium available I guess it was about time that I started adding adjustable difficulty.
So, I have done this. There is now an option to tone the difficulty down a fair bit, which basically means taking out a healer here and there. :P
Additionally I have (and thank you for pointing out this issue) moved the campfire further away from the encounter with The Janitor. You still have to fight him if you want to be rejuvenated by its soothing fires, but you can now re-spawn there without insta-aggroing him as well as returning to the main path without fighting him.

This fix has been applied and is publishing as I type this. I'll get onto fixing the typoes right away afterwards.
However, I am a bit confused by this bug with the interactible items that you mention. When I playtest they don't have any name in the name box at all, so it's a bit confusing.
When does this happen, again, and what exactly is happening? Is the default object name showing up on the interactibles I've placed?

Also, the joke's on you! 'A Time for Death' is ALREADY IN MY QUESTLOG!

casmelak · January 2014

However, I am a bit confused by this bug with the interactible items that you mention. When I playtest they don't have any name in the name box at all, so it's a bit confusing.

Oh, no. I wasn't saying that it's a bug. I was suggesting that IF you wanted the objects to show a name, rather than 'press x to interact', you can just check the 'interactable' checkbox on them. I've found that if you JUST check the 'interactable' checkbox, and give the object a name, but don't type anything in the 'interaction text' box, the item will show the player the defined name. Which can be nice for maintaining immersion. I'll admit that I JUST figured this out, and that I'm still working on going back through my quests to implement it. I just thought I'd mention it when I noticed the 'press x to interact' for the little notes you've left around. It seems like a bit of a hack/work-around, but I like the result.

basilisque · January 2014

Ah, alright. Well, personally the whole 'press x to interact' generally fits me fine. It doesn't disclose any actual information about what will happen upon interaction, and the DM dwelling deep inside me loves that.
I will definitely keep this in mind, though. Thanks for informing me!

capnchef · January 2014

Just finished A Construct's Prison with my wife. We were both really impressed with it. The amount of work that went into the area designs was very evident. My wife really loved the corridor with the notes. She said it looked pretty cool when you got to the end and looked back.

As was said above, some of the fights were really easy, but that might be because I was playing a 42 HR and my was a 41 CW, so we took out several things from a distance.

I really liked the last fighting area with the walkways amongst the trees. I've been trying to create a treetop village, and that gave me some inspiration.

There really wasn't anything I saw that was out of place or needed to be fixed other than some of the enemies being really easy. The quest beat it into our heads early on that it was going to be hard and try to kill us, but it was kind of a breeze for the most part. The Janitor was more challenging though. Again, not sure how much of that was because of our class builds or just the encounters chosen. Anywho, reviewed and tipped! Great job!

The Botaniqarium

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