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Foundry Series "The Star Fall Agenda"
rancidmojo
Member Posts: 105 Arc User
I started working on this a long time ago, but never finished it until recently because of, well, real life, the Foundry being offline for a bit and needing to upgrade my PC.
I'm still doing a few tweaks and stuff, but this is a three part story. Part one begins when you have to meet with a Federation Intelligence Agent to help stop Orion Pirates from raiding the Talos system. But during the mission you find that the Talosians are aware of the Orion theft and they offer a warning to a greater threat.
I'd appreciate any constructive criticism and advice. The first two parts of the mission are here...
ST-HU3D7YU67 "The Star Fall Agenda Part One"
The second chapter is
ST-HHRDVKWW5 "The Star Fall Agenda Part Two"
The third is finished but I'm doing a few tweaks on it.
ST-HOZ9P8PLX "The Star Fall Agenda Part Three"
I'm still doing a few tweaks and stuff, but this is a three part story. Part one begins when you have to meet with a Federation Intelligence Agent to help stop Orion Pirates from raiding the Talos system. But during the mission you find that the Talosians are aware of the Orion theft and they offer a warning to a greater threat.
I'd appreciate any constructive criticism and advice. The first two parts of the mission are here...
ST-HU3D7YU67 "The Star Fall Agenda Part One"
The second chapter is
ST-HHRDVKWW5 "The Star Fall Agenda Part Two"
The third is finished but I'm doing a few tweaks on it.
ST-HOZ9P8PLX "The Star Fall Agenda Part Three"
0
Comments
The last group of thugs in Utigg's room are fairly low-level and I couldn't find an issue with them. However, I did group them closer to the entrance so you should be able to see all of them and there isn't much that they could hide behind in that room. I hope that works for you.
ETA: I forgot to add, there's a typo in the dialogue when you talk to Gusk (?), the injured Orion.
Thanks! I'm glad you liked it. I'll check for typos in the mission.
Thanks for the heads up! That line with the typo was my fault for trying to be clever. It was from the movie "Alien". (I'm old, I saw it when it first released in a theater!) When the survivors are trying to get off of the Nostromo after initiating the self destruct Yaphet Kotto's character tells them ":If we ain't outta here in *x number of minutes* we won't need a rocket to fly through space!" . For some reason that line always cracked me up.
However, there were quite a few technical errors in this one. I'll try to remember as best as I can.
The level where you rescue the slaves, some of the objective titles are mixed up. For example, there's one objective that says, "Talk to auctioneer," but you're doing something at a console instead. I would carefully go through each and every one of your objectives on that map because there are one or two more instances of this happening.
I think you accidentally repeated dialogue on this level, too. It might've been the line about not needing a star ship to fly in space or something to that effect. Your character says it as a response, but then your Engineering officer repeats it again.
On the level, Operation Poker Face, I had a very hard time completing the objective,"Prepare ship for battle." The way point is really tiny and I had to keep flying around to trigger it. I think you need to enlarge it; even when I zoomed in on the map I had a hard time seeing the arrow that told me which direction to go in.
You highlighted some of your text with the "MissionInfo" tag, which was confusing, since this highlighting is supposed to be used to give players instructions. It also broke the flow of dialogue.
I think the mission went a little bit on the long side because of the large number of patrols and waves you had to fight off towards the end. I can see some players getting a little antsy fighting wave after wave of patrols and ships.
Other than that, great job. You've written a really great story on par with the official missions here at STO.
I came across this thread. It's not the exact same issue but something similar. Maybe it will be of some help: https://www.arcgames.com/en/forums/startrekonline#/discussion/1042817/wrong-map-dialogue-and-state-change-bug
Thanks. I'll see what I can do.
However, just like with the previous episodes, there were quite a few typos. I remember there being one on the very first map when you're talking to the captains. There was a significant one in the very last map where you speak to the Portal. You accidentally copied and pasted the same sentence twice in one of the dialogues. I would carefully comb through all of your dialogue. I remember most of the typos being in the parts of the mission that took place on the star base, not anywhere else.
On the last map, I noticed that one of my ship officers showed up in dialogue, in the part where you're trying to free the Portal. Did you mean to have a ship officer or an away team officer?
I'm glad you enjoyed the mission!
Hi!
No, I didn't withdraw it. It's out of the review queue, so maybe try searching under the other tabs.
ETA: If you find it kind of "jokey" in parts, it's just that I was only messing around with the Foundry (learning how it works and all) and not trying to do anything serious. I'll be more serious in my next mission.
Don't worry about jokey, I threw in a few jokey references myself.
I just completed your mission and it was interesting. I have only one thing I'd correct and its minor. At one point the Captain of the other ship refers to Commander Tafeng as her superior. A commander does not outrank a captain. (I'm retired military, these things stick to me). I know at least one reviewer didn't like the "implied history" of the player character, but from a role play perspective it was well done. I look forward to more from you.
Thanks for the heads up. I'll be changing that line in the next tweak.
And thanks for your comments. I look forward to seeing more from you as well, as I really had fun playing your mission.