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Corrupt a wish!

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  • supertone4761supertone4761 Member Posts: 52 Arc User
    edited February 2014
    Granted, but in Mercury years, so you only became about 7 years younger.

    I wish I always had exact change for anything I was about to buy in my pocket.
  • f9thaceshighf9thaceshigh Member Posts: 1 Arc User
    edited February 2014
    Granted, but you never have enough to leave a tip.

    I wish I didn't have to pay taxes.
  • supertone4761supertone4761 Member Posts: 52 Arc User
    edited February 2014
    Granted. You now make no money whatsoever, which means you don't have to pay taxes.

    I wish I had some Romulan Ale.
  • collegepark2151collegepark2151 Member Posts: 0 Arc User
    edited February 2014
    Granted. But it was bottled during the Tal Shiar/ Obsidian Order alliance and some Kanar slipped into the bottle so now it tastes like hot fish juice.

    I wish an asteroid the size of Ceres was heading straight for Earth to wipe out all life.

    (little twist there, huh? ;) )
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

    Porthos is not amused.
  • grandnaguszek1grandnaguszek1 Member Posts: 2,188 Arc User
    edited February 2014
    Granted. But it was bottled during the Tal Shiar/ Obsidian Order alliance and some Kanar slipped into the bottle so now it tastes like hot fish juice.

    I wish an asteroid the size of Ceres was heading straight for Earth to wipe out all life.

    (little twist there, huh? ;) )

    Granted, but the government sends a nuclear missile up to it and breaks it into a million pieces that miss earth. Unfortunately one piece of it goes through the atmosphere, through your roof, and hits you in the face.

    I wish I didn't have school today.
    say-star-wars-is-better.jpg
  • centersolacecentersolace Member Posts: 11,178 Arc User
    edited February 2014
    Granted, but the government sends a nuclear missile up to it and breaks it into a million pieces that miss earth. Unfortunately one piece of it goes through the atmosphere, through your roof, and hits you in the face.

    I wish I didn't have school today.

    The fact that you didn't send a rag-tag oil rig crew lead by Bruce Willis to blow it up from the inside means you are going to school ANYWAY PUNK.

    I wish my chair was comfier.
  • supertone4761supertone4761 Member Posts: 52 Arc User
    edited February 2014
    Granted. Its so comfortable, your leg muscles atrophy and you die of starvation.

    I wish I could comprehend the Q.
  • dalolorndalolorn Member Posts: 3,655 Arc User
    edited February 2014
    Granted. Its so comfortable, your leg muscles atrophy and you die of starvation.

    I wish I could comprehend the Q.

    Granted. You lose your sanity.

    I wish I could think of a wish.

    Infinite possibilities have implications that could not be completely understood if you turned this entire universe into a giant supercomputer.p3OEBPD6HU3QI.jpg
  • ryan218ryan218 Member Posts: 36,106 Arc User
    edited February 2014
    dalolorn wrote: »
    Granted. You lose your sanity.

    I wish I could think of a wish.

    Granted, but it's easily corrupted.

    I wish I was Prime Minister of the UK. Hey, I couldn't do a worse job than Mr Cameron, could I?
  • artan42artan42 Member Posts: 10,450 Bug Hunter
    edited February 2014
    ryan218 wrote: »
    Granted, but it's easily corrupted.

    I wish I was Prime Minister of the UK. Hey, I couldn't do a worse job than Mr Cameron, could I?

    Granted. However you do and in so doing break reality.

    I wish reality was fixed.
    22762792376_ac7c992b7c_o.png
    Norway and Yeager dammit... I still want my Typhoon and Jupiter though.
    JJ Trek The Kelvin Timeline is just Trek and it's fully canon... get over it. But I still prefer TAR.

    #TASforSTO


    '...I can tell you that we're not in the military and that we intend no harm to the whales.' Kirk: The Voyage Home
    'Starfleet is not a military organisation. Its purpose is exploration.' Picard: Peak Performance
    'This is clearly a military operation. Is that what we are now? Because I thought we were explorers!' Scotty: Into Darkness
    '...The Federation. Starfleet. We're not a military agency.' Scotty: Beyond
    'I'm not a soldier anymore. I'm an engineer.' Miles O'Brien: Empok Nor
    '...Starfleet could use you... It's a peacekeeping and humanitarian armada...' Admiral Pike: Star Trek

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  • sander233sander233 Member Posts: 3,992 Arc User
    edited February 2014
    Granted, but now the alternate reality we had to "borrow" the parts from to fix our reality is really pissed off with you.

    ...

    I wish the Olympic Curling events weren't on so late at night.
    16d89073-5444-45ad-9053-45434ac9498f.png~original

    ...Oh, baby, you know, I've really got to leave you / Oh, I can hear it callin 'me / I said don't you hear it callin' me the way it used to do?...
    - Anne Bredon
  • dalolorndalolorn Member Posts: 3,655 Arc User
    edited February 2014
    Granted, but you're at work when they're on.

    I wish the next part of Faces in the Flames was out already. :P

    Infinite possibilities have implications that could not be completely understood if you turned this entire universe into a giant supercomputer.p3OEBPD6HU3QI.jpg
  • jmaster29jmaster29 Member Posts: 0 Arc User
    edited February 2014
    dalolorn wrote: »
    Granted, but you're at work when they're on.

    I wish the next part of Faces in the Flames was out already. :P

    Granted, but then a flame comes out and eats your face.

    I wish I ruled reality
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
  • collegepark2151collegepark2151 Member Posts: 0 Arc User
    edited February 2014
    Granted, but it turns out your reality is a holodeck simulation contained in a small cube on someone's desk and you are a hologram.

    I wish today was Friday.
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

    Porthos is not amused.
  • centersolacecentersolace Member Posts: 11,178 Arc User
    edited February 2014
    Granted, but it turns out your reality is a holodeck simulation contained in a small cube on someone's desk and you are a hologram.

    I wish today was Friday.

    Granted. But it's 9 p.m.

    I wish I had a hamburger.
  • arcanum70arcanum70 Member Posts: 6 Arc User
    edited February 2014
    Granted. But it's 9 p.m.

    I wish I had a hamburger.

    Granted, but it's squeaky dog toy hamburger.

    I wish I was a little bit taller, I wish I was a baller, I wish I had a pretty girl (I would call her), I wish I had a rabbit, in a hat, with a bat and a 64 Impala.
  • supertone4761supertone4761 Member Posts: 52 Arc User
    edited February 2014
    Granted. You're a half-millimeter taller, you work in a sphere-making plant, I made one of your ex's that really hates you incredibly pretty (so you HAD a pretty girl), the rabbit is just a beanie baby, in a baseball cap, brought to you by a vampire bat, and the Impala is just a plastic toy.

    I wish I was an insurmountable force and an unmovable object.

    EDIT: I forgot to mention, the dictionary definition of "baller" is one who makes round objects. :)
  • grandnaguszek1grandnaguszek1 Member Posts: 2,188 Arc User
    edited February 2014
    Granted. You're a half-millimeter taller, you work in a sphere-making plant, I made one of your ex's that really hates you incredibly pretty (so you HAD a pretty girl), the rabbit is just a beanie baby, in a baseball cap, brought to you by a vampire bat, and the Impala is just a plastic toy.

    I wish I was an insurmountable force and an unmovable object.

    EDIT: I forgot to mention, the dictionary definition of "baller" is one who makes round objects. :)

    Granted, since your now an "immovable" object you are stuck in the exact same spot for eternity.

    I wish I could shoot fire out of my hands without burning them and it could only burn stuff that I want it to burn (in other words any structure with me in it can't burn).
    say-star-wars-is-better.jpg
  • superhombre777superhombre777 Member Posts: 147 Arc User
    edited February 2014
    I wish I could shoot fire out of my hands without burning them and it could only burn stuff that I want it to burn (in other words any structure with me in it can't burn).

    Granted, but the people that you spared turned against you and burned you at a stake. Fitting, isn't it?

    I wish that stupid people always choose to not vote.
  • sander233sander233 Member Posts: 3,992 Arc User
    edited February 2014
    I wish that stupid people always choose to not vote.

    Granted. Now nobody votes except old people.

    ...

    I wish I was a women's figure skating judge.
    16d89073-5444-45ad-9053-45434ac9498f.png~original

    ...Oh, baby, you know, I've really got to leave you / Oh, I can hear it callin 'me / I said don't you hear it callin' me the way it used to do?...
    - Anne Bredon
  • doffingcomradedoffingcomrade Member Posts: 0 Arc User
    edited February 2014
    sander233 wrote: »
    Granted. Now nobody votes except old people.
    This is a bad thing? As an old person, I'm all for that.
    sander233 wrote: »
    I wish I was a women's figure skating judge.
    Granted. But all the skaters are morbidly obese and ugly.

    I wish you wouldn't grant this wish.
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
  • supertone4761supertone4761 Member Posts: 52 Arc User
    edited February 2014
    sander233 wrote: »
    Granted. Now nobody votes except old people.

    ...

    I wish I was a women's figure skating judge.

    Granted. Unfortunately, you weren't very good, so you were fired after judging a single competition. That, and there are still harassment lawsuits coming in.

    I wish I could scratch my back without the use of a back scratcher.

    EDIT: Ninja'd!

    Granted. Since you wished for a wish to not be granted, I must grant it, but subsequently ungrant it, and the ensuing divide by zero paradox destroys the known universe.
  • scurry5scurry5 Member Posts: 1,554 Arc User
    edited February 2014
    Granted. Unfortunately, you weren't very good, so you were fired after judging a single competition. That, and there are still harassment lawsuits coming in.

    I wish I could scratch my back without the use of a back scratcher.

    EDIT: Ninja'd!

    Granted. Since you wished for a wish to not be granted, I must grant it, but subsequently ungrant it, and the ensuing divide by zero paradox destroys the known universe.

    Granted, but you can no longer scratch your front without a front scratcher.

    I wish that I didn't need sleep to function.
  • sander233sander233 Member Posts: 3,992 Arc User
    edited February 2014
    scurry5 wrote: »
    I wish that I didn't need sleep to function.
    You never did. That's what coffee is for.

    ...

    I wish the letters on my screen would hold still.
    16d89073-5444-45ad-9053-45434ac9498f.png~original

    ...Oh, baby, you know, I've really got to leave you / Oh, I can hear it callin 'me / I said don't you hear it callin' me the way it used to do?...
    - Anne Bredon
  • resoundingenvoyresoundingenvoy Member Posts: 439
    edited February 2014
    sander233 wrote: »
    I wish the letters on my screen would hold still.

    Wish granted, the letters on your screen are holding still. Of course, not much else seem to be moving anymore now that your stuck same moment in time.

    I wish there was a good sequel to my favorite book.
  • grandnaguszek1grandnaguszek1 Member Posts: 2,188 Arc User
    edited February 2014
    Wish granted, the letters on your screen are holding still. Of course, not much else seem to be moving anymore now that your stuck same moment in time.

    I wish there was a good sequel to my favorite book.

    Granted, but right at the climax all of the pages are blank so at least the beginning was good.


    I wish for spock' s intellect.
    say-star-wars-is-better.jpg
  • hawku001xhawku001x Member Posts: 10,758 Arc User
    edited February 2014
    granted but it leads u to an alternate reality past where kirk looks different

    i wish those lens flares would stop already
  • onehalfklingononehalfklingon Member Posts: 106 Arc User
    edited February 2014
    hawku001x wrote: »
    i wish those lens flares would stop already

    Granted, but now you have eyeball flares with everything you look at.

    I wish for an incorruptible wish.
  • scurry5scurry5 Member Posts: 1,554 Arc User
    edited February 2014
    Granted, but now you have eyeball flares with everything you look at.

    I wish for an incorruptible wish.

    Granted, but you are unable to communicate it to anyone else.

    I wish instant noodles were actually healthy.
  • f9thaceshighf9thaceshigh Member Posts: 1 Arc User
    edited February 2014
    granted, but now ramen doesn't taste any good no matter how many of those dehydrated broth packets you use.

    I wish I had more coffee.
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