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Literary Challenge #58 Discussion Thread

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  • worffan101worffan101 Member Posts: 9,518 Arc User
    edited February 2014
    Twelfth Doctor. I added his appearance prior to S'rR's' disappearance as a funny cameo, but then realised that I have no idea what the Doctor would be like, how long he might travel with Clara, etc, so writing S'rR's having an adventure set before the next episode, would likely be out of character or contradicted, so I just couldn't bring myself to write it...
    Same for the fight between S'rR's and H''n'n... So this LC was the ideal way of rounding things up :cool:

    I enjoyed it, it was good to see more about Three's crew :cool:

    Ah, I see. Pity, that would've been some action sequence.

    Thanks! What do you think of the second part?
  • marcusdkanemarcusdkane Member Posts: 7,439 Arc User
    edited February 2014
    worffan101 wrote: »
    Ah, I see. Pity, that would've been some action sequence.

    Thanks! What do you think of the second part?

    I like it, some nice digs at Drake, and absolutely, pre-Hobus, Romulans would habitually use pseudonyms to avoid identification by the Tal Shiar :cool:
  • worffan101worffan101 Member Posts: 9,518 Arc User
    edited February 2014
    I like it, some nice digs at Drake, and absolutely, pre-Hobus, Romulans would habitually use pseudonyms to avoid identification by the Tal Shiar :cool:

    Yeah, her "real" name, D'trel Tomalak, is actually a Unificationist pseudonym. "Do'eth" is the alias that she's used since the Tal Shiar killed her girlfriend.
  • marcusdkanemarcusdkane Member Posts: 7,439 Arc User
    edited February 2014
    worffan101 wrote: »
    Yeah, her "real" name, D'trel Tomalak, is actually a Unificationist pseudonym. "Do'eth" is the alias that she's used since the Tal Shiar killed her girlfriend.
    Ahh, with a name like Tomolak, she'd certainly attract attention :cool:
  • worffan101worffan101 Member Posts: 9,518 Arc User
    edited February 2014
    Ahh, with a name like Tomolak, she'd certainly attract attention :cool:

    She's one of his cousins, one generation down. That was why she used the name in the first place; it was something of a fashion among some Unificationists at the time to use binomial names, especially with a surname based on the personal name of a well-known relative. Her real personal name is D'trel, though.
  • mrdarksabremrdarksabre Member Posts: 39 Arc User
    edited February 2014
    OK, I've placed down all 3 parts of my entry into the Lit Challenge. If you're going to critique it (and I would appreciate it if you did frankly) please take into account my rustiness and the fact that almost all of it is in a writing style I haven't done much.

    Thank you.
    Krovennan Darksabre: Commanding officer of the U.S.S. Blacksabre-E NX-973484-E

    I earned my Vet rewards with commitment, not cash.
  • marcusdkanemarcusdkane Member Posts: 7,439 Arc User
    edited February 2014
    OK, I've placed down all 3 parts of my entry into the Lit Challenge. If you're going to critique it (and I would appreciate it if you did frankly) please take into account my rustiness and the fact that almost all of it is in a writing style I haven't done much.

    Thank you.

    I enjoyed it very much, but personally, I felt that the story after the briefings was an unnecessary addition. The briefings were thoroughly enjoyable :cool:
  • ironphoenix113ironphoenix113 Member Posts: 0 Arc User
    edited February 2014
    Got my entry posted. The details on the Athena were a project I've been fleshing out for some time now, and this LC gave me a chance to really state what the ship was equipped with. As for Bryan's personnel file, I had the idea in my head for a while, but I wasn't really sure what to do with it until this LC was released, so I threw this together while between classes on-campus at college. Let me know what you all think!

    EDIT: Made a small last minute addition to Bryan's personnel file regarding how he fights in a planetside operation.
    Vice Admiral Bryan Mitchel Valot
    Commanding officer: Odyssey class U.S.S. Athena
    Admiral of the 1st Assault Fleet
    Join date: Some time in Closed Beta
  • timeladykatietimeladykatie Member Posts: 86 Arc User
    edited February 2014
    I haven't been active in the STO community, but literary challenges seem my cup of Earl Gray, so I thought I'd try. Be kind? I hope to use this as a jumping off of sorts, and since I'm just starting the Romulan campaign might be more active documenting that.
    Vice Admiral Meria Farron
    USS Stradivarius
    NX-163292

    Author of Reprise
  • knightraider6knightraider6 Member Posts: 396 Arc User
    edited February 2014
    I actually wrote something like this up for another post, not a LC, a while back-could always expand on that. humm.
    "It may be better to be a live jackal than a dead lion, but it is better still to be a live lion. And usually easier." R.A.Heinlein

    "he's as dangerous as a ferret with a chainsaw."



  • masopwmasopw Member Posts: 157 Arc User
    edited February 2014
    @aten66: congrats on your challenge getting picked...and thanks for your kind words about my entry,,,glad you liked it!

    @zolyk: there is such a thing as *too* redacted!

    @worffan101: Great job. Honestly...I don't dig the genre savvy aspect (no red clothes, minimum ranks, etc. Pulls me out of the suspension of disbelief..), but I dig your writing style and the other aspects of how youve built up the character of Three! And I enjoyed this look at other crew members...I have a feeling you've planted seeds in this challenge that will come up in the future...

    @janeway257: hope to read more on the exploits of the Boston in future LCs.

    @destroyer831642: a very detailed introduction to a bunch of very interesting individuals. I look forward to their tales!

    @oldkhemaraa: Another very detailed entry! Lots of potential for great future tales!

    @ryan218: Recommendation: a little bit of polish. If the subject is an excellent asset to the organization but not an operative or ally of Section 31, perhaps you can add a quick brief on why somebody who doesn't care for 31 would be held in some regard by them.

    @confedinblue: Good detail on the ship...but Section 31 could build their own version. I'd prefer to hear more about their crew, particularly why the CO seems to have issues with humans.

    @johngazman: If your avatar wore a Starfleet uniform I'd be ROFLOL! For your entry, I'm very intrigued to learn more about this interesting ex-drone and the fleet that follows him into semi-discommendation. Please continue to contribute your tales in the LCs!

    @jonsills: As usual, another awesome entry giving us more details on Grunt and his crew!

    @grylak: Thanks for the name-check! Hope the Viper doesn't find anything...odd...out there. I'd like to hear more about how Tellara ended up on a KDF ship, and how the relationship might be used by 31 as leverage.

    @marcusdkane: Very intriguing. I hope that Captain t'Kazanak Is able to keep 31 away from cadets with potential...and that Lt. Fisher is acting with good intent, a la Malcolm Reed, and not in a sketchy manner.

    @mrdarksabre: Nicely written...lots of detail in all three parts. (I'd put a work in progress note at the beginning as placeholders when writing parts two and three so you don't get dinged for multiple entries in the same thread.) some interesting and compelling characters...can't wait to read about them in a direct tale!

    @sharpie65: Suggestion: Please consider fleshing it out a bit more. Why are the named officers singled out? Why the approach with caution warning?

    @timeladykatie: excellent detail! You've planted a veritable garden of future tales in this post, and I hope you'll share the ongoing adventures of your crew with us!

    @ironphoenix113: Exceptional level of detail on ship and crew! (Just one issue...I can't buy a 26 year old Admiral...even during a time of war.). Lots of potential tales you've got in play...hope that you too will share them in future LCs.


    So...caught up for now. As always, feedback to my humble offering is most appreciated! Drive safe, those in areas hit with upwards of 20 cm of snow, and take small bites with the shovel to avoid the sore back & shoulders!
  • ironphoenix113ironphoenix113 Member Posts: 0 Arc User
    edited February 2014
    masopw wrote: »
    @ironphoenix113: Exceptional level of detail on ship and crew! (Just one issue...I can't buy a 26 year old Admiral...even during a time of war.). Lots of potential tales you've got in play...hope that you too will share them in future LCs.


    So...caught up for now. As always, feedback to my humble offering is most appreciated! Drive safe, those in areas hit with upwards of 20 cm of snow, and take small bites with the shovel to avoid the sore back & shoulders!

    Thank you for your feedback! The reason I wrote Bryan to be 26 years old is because all of my LC entries (and other stories) are written to take place in the timeline of STO itself, as Bryan and Selana are both characters I have in game. Plus, let's face it making Admiral in 3-4 years after graduation is a little more realistic that doing it in a year (which is still the case in-game)
    Vice Admiral Bryan Mitchel Valot
    Commanding officer: Odyssey class U.S.S. Athena
    Admiral of the 1st Assault Fleet
    Join date: Some time in Closed Beta
  • timeladykatietimeladykatie Member Posts: 86 Arc User
    edited February 2014
    I don't know if it's proper to post this here, given it's a more general LC question, but how do other writers deal with the fact that the last four years have all been 2409? It seems like an improbably busy year! I considered saying that the Dominion crew was assigned to the Janeway in 2411 or 2412, a reflection on when Season Six happened relative to the launch of STO, but I looked up details on current featured episodes and apparently its still 2409... seems kind of weird, especially going from Ensign to Admiral so fast.

    masopw wrote: »
    @timeladykatie: excellent detail! You've planted a veritable garden of future tales in this post, and I hope you'll share the ongoing adventures of your crew with us!

    Thamks a ton! I only wish I started earlier! Teneal Romana dying could've made a harrowing tale, especially to be replaced by Emoni Romana some measure of time later. I was a little dissatisfied with the way Ezri Dax was integrated relatively painlessly into DS9, where most other races would probably not be so comfortable with the pseudo-reincarnation of a joined Trill. I would've expected more Worf-like reactions. In the scheme of things, Emoni is a pretty new addition to my crew, so I can explore that still, but all those stories I missed out on!
    Vice Admiral Meria Farron
    USS Stradivarius
    NX-163292

    Author of Reprise
  • ironphoenix113ironphoenix113 Member Posts: 0 Arc User
    edited February 2014
    I don't know if it's proper to post this here, given it's a more general LC question, but how do other writers deal with the fact that the last four years have all been 2409? It seems like an improbably busy year! I considered saying that the Dominion crew was assigned to the Janeway in 2411 or 2412, a reflection on when Season Six happened relative to the launch of STO, but I looked up details on current featured episodes and apparently its still 2409... seems kind of weird, especially going from Ensign to Admiral so fast.

    I've (personally) dealt with it by equating 1 real-time year to 1 in-game year, so it's 2413 for Bryan right now.Granted, that means that his promotion from Ensign to VA was only about two years, but that's still a bit more realistic than just one year :D
    Vice Admiral Bryan Mitchel Valot
    Commanding officer: Odyssey class U.S.S. Athena
    Admiral of the 1st Assault Fleet
    Join date: Some time in Closed Beta
  • timeladykatietimeladykatie Member Posts: 86 Arc User
    edited February 2014
    I've (personally) dealt with it by equating 1 real-time year to 1 in-game year, so it's 2413 for Bryan right now.Granted, that means that his promotion from Ensign to VA was only about two years, but that's still a bit more realistic than just one year :D


    That's a very formative two-to-four years!
    Vice Admiral Meria Farron
    USS Stradivarius
    NX-163292

    Author of Reprise
  • marcusdkanemarcusdkane Member Posts: 7,439 Arc User
    edited February 2014
    @ timeladykatie: Welcome to the LCs, a very nice entry :cool:
  • marcusdkanemarcusdkane Member Posts: 7,439 Arc User
    edited February 2014
    @ ironphoenix113: I really enjoyed reading about Athena's capabilities and hardware :cool: I have to agree with the other comments about Bryan's age... I always thought of him as being mid to late thirties :D
  • worffan101worffan101 Member Posts: 9,518 Arc User
    edited February 2014
    I haven't been active in the STO community, but literary challenges seem my cup of Earl Gray, so I thought I'd try. Be kind? I hope to use this as a jumping off of sorts, and since I'm just starting the Romulan campaign might be more active documenting that.

    Very nice entry! I hope that you'll be back for more LCs?
  • grylakgrylak Member Posts: 1,594 Arc User
    edited February 2014
    masopw wrote: »
    @grylak: Thanks for the name-check! Hope the Viper doesn't find anything...odd...out there. I'd like to hear more about how Tellara ended up on a KDF ship, and how the relationship might be used by 31 as leverage.


    Your welcome. I was already assigning the Viper to the B'tran cluster for an extended period of time in these LC's, which will feature a longer story of an encounter in there when I finish this long Emony story, and when you posted in a past LC the Bonaventure was lost in that area, it just felt right to have my crew be on the lookout while they are patrolling there. Although admittadly, I did move the big story from the B'tran cluster to the Delta Quadrant, but they can still have some incidents before they go to the sphere. Yes, I do intend to follow up on that Borg Briefing mentioned in One Night at some point.


    As for details on Tallara, well, happy to provide access to that file. And info on her Captain. Will be updated soon.


    Also, loved the fact you were able to get a story from this, that advanceed the plot. I'm really interested to know what happened to the Bonaventure. You're building this mystery up really well.



    For the year thing, I've just ignored the 2409 thing. My crew spent 5 years on the DarkFyre before being transferred to the Sentinel, where they served for 3 years before she went down. Viper was launched 3 months after that, of which, we are currently around 2 weeks into her patrol. The time period is STO, and stuff that happens in STO (and other LC's) happen here, but it's not a date set in stone. Afterall, that was why stardates were made in the first place.



    Reading these reports, especially the first couple, I'm left wondering what would happen if most of these crews met up in one large task force. Nothing would stop them!



    Also, are we still going to have a revisit LC at every ten (so 60 would be the next one) that Bran wanted to do? I have the story of the Viper's launch all ready to go, just waiting for the LC to post it.
    *******************************************

    A Romulan Strike Team, Missing Farmers and an ancient base on a Klingon Border world. But what connects them? Find out in my First Foundary mission: 'The Jeroan Farmer Escapade'
  • marcusdkanemarcusdkane Member Posts: 7,439 Arc User
    edited February 2014
    masopw wrote: »
    Very intriguing. I hope that Captain t'Kazanak Is able to keep 31 away from cadets with potential...and that Lt. Fisher is acting with good intent, a la Malcolm Reed, and not in a sketchy manner.
    Elyse doesn't wander around in a black uniform, no one else aboard has any idea of her Section 31 affiliation (even I didn't know till the challenge was posted :D ) And absolutely, she has the best of intentions... The best interests of the Federation ;)
  • jonsillsjonsills Member Posts: 10,354 Arc User
    edited February 2014
    I handle the 2409 question by just using that as a starting point. The Borg invasion of Vega IX and the Elachi attack on Virinat both occurred in 2409; other than that, dates are flexible. (My main, VA Sills, has been visibly aging as he gets promoted; now he's grey-haired and balding, with the Aged 02 complexion.) In my stories, it's been as long as it's been. Time, like starship velocity, travels at the speed of plot. :)
    Lorna-Wing-sig.png
  • shevetshevet Member Posts: 1,667 Arc User
    edited February 2014
    I'm reminded of one of Patrick O'Brian's comments on his Aubrey/Maturin series... although he was fairly closely constrained by the actual chronology of the Napoleonic Wars, he admitted that some of the stories had to take place in the years "1812a" and "1812b".

    I try to be vague about these things, myself - helps that most of my characters aren't human and therefore don't age like humans. (Ronnie Grau, if you ever see her in-game, has an "Aged" complexion - she's been around a while, and it shows.)
    8b6YIel.png?1
  • timeladykatietimeladykatie Member Posts: 86 Arc User
    edited February 2014
    jonsills wrote: »
    I handle the 2409 question by just using that as a starting point. The Borg invasion of Vega IX and the Elachi attack on Virinat both occurred in 2409; other than that, dates are flexible. (My main, VA Sills, has been visibly aging as he gets promoted; now he's grey-haired and balding, with the Aged 02 complexion.) In my stories, it's been as long as it's been. Time, like starship velocity, travels at the speed of plot. :)

    As it is my engineer is already in his late fifties, I'd probably spread it over a decade at most, I think... STO's chronology does make it challenging, though. I'm glad to see such a clever assortment of ways to address that problem!
    @ timeladykatie: Welcome to the LCs, a very nice entry :cool:
    Thanks!
    worffan101 wrote: »
    Very nice entry! I hope that you'll be back for more LCs?
    I'm looking forward to it! Also, I might write up some tales independent of these challenges as well, a little "What is the Stradivarius doing when not in a Featured Episode" sort of story? Or my new Romulan campaign, which has a really Firefly feel to it for some reason. I blame the fact that my XO's uniform looks like a Browncoat.
    Vice Admiral Meria Farron
    USS Stradivarius
    NX-163292

    Author of Reprise
  • ironphoenix113ironphoenix113 Member Posts: 0 Arc User
    edited February 2014
    @ ironphoenix113: I really enjoyed reading about Athena's capabilities and hardware :cool: I have to agree with the other comments about Bryan's age... I always thought of him as being mid to late thirties :D

    Heh, I personally, don't quite find it as realistic as it could be either, but you have to make do with what you're given. And, let's not forget: Writers working under restrictions produce novel material; for example, epigrams employing backwards alphabetization. (internet cookie for anyone who gets that reference.)
    Vice Admiral Bryan Mitchel Valot
    Commanding officer: Odyssey class U.S.S. Athena
    Admiral of the 1st Assault Fleet
    Join date: Some time in Closed Beta
  • zidanetribalzidanetribal Member Posts: 220 Arc User
    edited February 2014
    jonsills wrote: »
    I handle the 2409 question by just using that as a starting point. The Borg invasion of Vega IX and the Elachi attack on Virinat both occurred in 2409; other than that, dates are flexible. (My main, VA Sills, has been visibly aging as he gets promoted; now he's grey-haired and balding, with the Aged 02 complexion.) In my stories, it's been as long as it's been. Time, like starship velocity, travels at the speed of plot. :)

    All my LC's take place 400 years from the date when the LC was first posted, but other than that, I avoid the 2409 question like the plague. All my toons are floating in the timeline. :)
  • grylakgrylak Member Posts: 1,594 Arc User
    edited February 2014
    Added files for Tallara and Bravok.

    The stardate is meant to be the date for the episode 'Temporal Ambassador'.

    Anyone else people want to hear about, let me know.
    *******************************************

    A Romulan Strike Team, Missing Farmers and an ancient base on a Klingon Border world. But what connects them? Find out in my First Foundary mission: 'The Jeroan Farmer Escapade'
  • timeladykatietimeladykatie Member Posts: 86 Arc User
    edited February 2014
    grylak wrote: »
    The stardate is meant to be the date for the episode 'Temporal Ambassador'.
    I've been wondering where other people have been getting their stardates. I worked out some math for it ages ago, it's something like 2.8 Startadtes per 24 hours, 1000 per year. It's kind of a pain to do the math to get to a calendar date with that, though.
    Vice Admiral Meria Farron
    USS Stradivarius
    NX-163292

    Author of Reprise
  • worffan101worffan101 Member Posts: 9,518 Arc User
    edited February 2014
    I don't bother with the stardate. Yeah, I know, not Trekkie enough...I barely know 500 words of thlIngan Hohl!

    :D

    Frankly, the stardate's a hassle. I just use Earth dates.
  • grylakgrylak Member Posts: 1,594 Arc User
    edited February 2014
    My method is much easier. Just type some random numbers. Normally I skip, but this report required one.


    Though this time, I did put the 47 at the end on purpose.
    *******************************************

    A Romulan Strike Team, Missing Farmers and an ancient base on a Klingon Border world. But what connects them? Find out in my First Foundary mission: 'The Jeroan Farmer Escapade'
  • duneczan3duneczan3 Member Posts: 30 Arc User
    edited February 2014
    I've never done anything for any of these contests before, even though I'm rather fond of writing myself. I chose to do one this time because I felt it'd be interesting to write something about all of my characters.
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