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Literary Challenge #37 Discussion Thread

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  • bortjinxbortjinx Member Posts: 397
    edited January 2013
    hfmudd wrote: »
    And posted. As you'll see, I took inspiration from what others have said about the mirror Trill and applied that to my own Joined captain.

    I hope this is clear enough from the text, but in case it's not: her pre-Joining name was Sanara Lucel, and per Trill custom (in our universe, at least) she now goes by Sanara Draz.

    Very nice.

    And it is interesting to see the same story from both points of view... My Jinx symbiont blowing up his MU counterpart because they have gone the way of the parasites, and your Trill Captain contemplating helping your MU counterpart because of the same thing. I could easily see Jinx and Draz working together on this.
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
  • cmdrscarletcmdrscarlet Member Posts: 5,137 Arc User
    edited January 2013
    @scottfreeman - Smooth conversation and easy to "see" scenes = Very well done! Looking forward to more from you :)
  • marcusdkanemarcusdkane Member Posts: 7,439 Arc User
    edited January 2013
    @scottfreeman: Sorry for the delay in giving feedback, but likewise, I really enjoyed it too, thought it was an awesome entry, and had some great moments of comedy :)
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  • ironphoenix113ironphoenix113 Member Posts: 0 Arc User
    edited January 2013
    @scottfreeman

    I'm in agreement with marcus and cmdrscralet, great entry, and I look forward to reading more from you! :)
    Vice Admiral Bryan Mitchel Valot
    Commanding officer: Odyssey class U.S.S. Athena
    Admiral of the 1st Assault Fleet
    Join date: Some time in Closed Beta
  • bortjinxbortjinx Member Posts: 397
    edited January 2013
    Marcus, I just got round to reading your polished story, wth the epilogue. Superb. It almost brought a tear to my eye, lol.

    I do have to ask though... orbital skydiving? Have you been reading my background story? That is something I had Jinx do during the Academy holidays.
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
  • wraithshadow13wraithshadow13 Member Posts: 1,536 Arc User
    edited February 2013
    This one took me forever but i was finally able to get something that i was alright with. Hopefully it's a decent read and feel free to give feedback, positive or negative. Also let me know if i missed any ?'s that were in the place of " 's
  • gulberatgulberat Member Posts: 5,505 Arc User
    edited February 2013
    Wraith--just read your entry. :) Sorry to ask a newbie question, but what species is Crewman Wraith? How, for that matter, did he come by that name? Is he another Devidian in Starfleet, by any chance? (If so, I apologize if I came across as stealing your idea.)

    One thing I think I'd like to see more of from you would be the actual dialogue between the characters rather than just narrative. You did so well when you showed your narrator's final words to the mirror Donovan in writing something compelling there. More please? ;)

    Christian Gaming Community Fleets--Faith, Fun, and Fellowship! See the website and PM for more. :-)
    Proudly F2P.  Signature image by gulberat. Avatar image by balsavor.deviantart.com.
  • wraithshadow13wraithshadow13 Member Posts: 1,536 Arc User
    edited February 2013
    http://sto-forum.perfectworld.com/showpost.php?p=7413871&postcount=22

    PIEYOOOOWWWWW!!!

    But no worries, he's not devidian, although that is a pretty good idea, so i'm looking forward to reading your story.


    As for the name it's kind of a toss up between the screen name as well as the idea of it being a shock thing, so each type of soldier would have been based on different myths due to ability and apearance so wraith looking the way he does as well as being invisible to sensors, it just seemed fitting, so the name would have been the translation of the name written on the tube(think bacta tank or weapon x set up) they found him in.

    He as well as the rest of the crew (especially Captain Donovan) have just kind of evolved from their into their own characters as i wrote more.
  • bortjinxbortjinx Member Posts: 397
    edited February 2013
    He as well as the rest of the crew (especially Captain Donovan) have just kind of evolved from their into their own characters as i wrote more.

    Nice entry Wraith :)

    This comment of yours is one of the greatest things about the LCs - Seeing your characters evolve as you keep writing. From a roleplayer perspective, it really lets you get to know your character, and often takes them in unusual directions.
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
  • gulberatgulberat Member Posts: 5,505 Arc User
    edited February 2013

    Thanks. :) That definitely explains things I'd seen in this LC and the last one that I couldn't quite figure out. So I gather S31 is a strong force aboard your ship?
    But no worries, he's not devidian, although that is a pretty good idea, so i'm looking forward to reading your story.

    Alyosha's first appearance was in LC #36. (And it was AFTER writing that story that I made an actual STO toon out of him! XD )

    I won't be entering LC #37, but I have a hunch about what LC #38 might be, and if it is, then I think I will be able to enter that one very easily.

    Christian Gaming Community Fleets--Faith, Fun, and Fellowship! See the website and PM for more. :-)
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  • cmdrscarletcmdrscarlet Member Posts: 5,137 Arc User
    edited February 2013
    gulberat wrote: »
    Wraith--just read your entry. :)

    One thing I think I'd like to see more of from you would be the actual dialogue between the characters rather than just narrative. You did so well when you showed your narrator's final words to the mirror Donovan in writing something compelling there. More please? ;)

    I have finished it as well and - for a Captain's Log - it was well done!!

    But I agree with gulberat above in that I would be interested to see dialogue from your talent as well.

    About one to two days left for this challenge ... any last takers?
  • wraithshadow13wraithshadow13 Member Posts: 1,536 Arc User
    edited February 2013
    The funny thing is i was originally going to have Captain Donovan die in combat which is how wraith would assume command (since technically augments cant join starfleet), but once i started beta testing i kind of had that "well TRIBBLE..." moment and just let it evolve from there. It really was a fun thing to watch how different it became from my initial look on the crew.


    As for section 31, yeah, it's a heavy theme because from my view point a lot of what happens in the shows or films doesn't really seem like it would be something the Federation would want to be making common knowledge, but it lets me go back and explain or play in some creative ways for the challenges. Not every job can be solved with diplomacy and science, and the Crew here is suited for just that.

    The dialog how ever i can do, it's the constant line breaks and what not, the technical aspect of writing i tend to be bad at, but i'll keep this in mind for future challenges. I do however change the way i write for challenges depending on the Character dictating the log, it's not much, but hopefully enough to make it feel like it's the character and not just one person doing them all.


    I'm looking forward to going through these tonight myself and reading what every one wroth though, and i'll definitely post more feedback for every one else as well. thank you.
  • ironphoenix113ironphoenix113 Member Posts: 0 Arc User
    edited February 2013
    @ wraith

    Great entry! I have to agree, there are a number of things in the shows that Federation citizens would not take too kindly too, and using S31 to explain how your ship runs certainly gives us a unique perspective on what's happening behind the scenes with the three? four? wars the Federation is fighting right now.

    I have a hunch as to what the next one is going to be as well, and tbh, if I'm right, it'll make daily life on the Athena very interesting for Bryan.
    Vice Admiral Bryan Mitchel Valot
    Commanding officer: Odyssey class U.S.S. Athena
    Admiral of the 1st Assault Fleet
    Join date: Some time in Closed Beta
  • cmdrscarletcmdrscarlet Member Posts: 5,137 Arc User
    edited February 2013
    I do however change the way i write for challenges depending on the Character dictating the log, it's not much, but hopefully enough to make it feel like it's the character and not just one person doing them all.

    I get this and appreciate this because the log IS the character talking about an event from their perspective which is always subjective to varying degrees.

    Your decision to write a Log not in the Captain's voice is just a different take on the assignment. :)
  • marcusdkanemarcusdkane Member Posts: 7,439 Arc User
    edited February 2013
    bortjinx wrote: »
    Marcus, I just got round to reading your polished story, wth the epilogue. Superb. It almost brought a tear to my eye, lol.
    Thanks :D Out of curiosity, which piece did you feel had the most emotional impact?
    bortjinx wrote: »
    I do have to ask though... orbital skydiving? Have you been reading my background story? That is something I had Jinx do during the Academy holidays.
    I have read some of your back story of the Academy Days, but I have to admit, I don't recall any orbital skydiving... I was actually thinking about the recent RedBull experiment/stunt, B'Elanna's participation of the activity, and the episode of MythBusters where they chucked a pig's carcass out of a helicopter in a bodybag, and how the impact dismembered it (I needed something severe enough to kill an immortal immediately, and that seemed as good a way as any :cool: )
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  • marcusdkanemarcusdkane Member Posts: 7,439 Arc User
    edited February 2013
    This one took me forever but i was finally able to get something that i was alright with. Hopefully it's a decent read and feel free to give feedback, positive or negative. Also let me know if i missed any ?'s that were in the place of " 's

    Fantastic entry, I really enjoyed it :) I don't recall any missed ?s :cool:
    909d7cda93335d83bb43d3459b4dfcd5_zpsayiqcsfi.jpg
  • marcusdkanemarcusdkane Member Posts: 7,439 Arc User
    edited February 2013
    gulberat wrote: »
    I won't be entering LC #37, but I have a hunch about what LC #38 might be, and if it is, then I think I will be able to enter that one very easily.

    I have a hunch as to what the next one is going to be as well, and tbh, if I'm right, it'll make daily life on the Athena very interesting for Bryan.

    @ Both: What do you think LC38's going to be about? Not being able to play the game, I have no idea what's going on In Universe, but love how the LCs can redirect a writer's plans :cool:
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  • wraithshadow13wraithshadow13 Member Posts: 1,536 Arc User
    edited February 2013
    well that's good. the last few entries i've been having them replace quotation marks so it's good to know i didn't miss any.
  • pwebranflakespwebranflakes Member Posts: 7,741
    edited February 2013
    The discussions keep getting better and better! Thank you all. I can't tell you how much I love seeing it.

    I'm unsticking this as I prepare to post #38, but as always, feel free to continue discussion.

    Also, if you paste your story into notepad before copying it back to here, you'll avoid those "?". :) Silly forums.

    Cheers,

    Brandon =/\=
  • zidanetribalzidanetribal Member Posts: 218 Arc User
    edited February 2013
    Ah, what a shame, I ran out of time this time. Couldn't think of an ending, either.
  • cmdrscarletcmdrscarlet Member Posts: 5,137 Arc User
    edited February 2013
    @kineticimpulser - Really smooth conversation and I enjoyed the banter between the two characters. Please join in more of them (since I only started at LC35)!

    @zidanetribal - Man, I can never think of a good ending and sometimes a "drop off" works just as well. In this LC, I decided not to conclude with a re-meeting of the Captains or a farewell scene and I think it keep the piece solid enough.

    If that helps :) Hope to see your entry this round.
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