Win Or Lose We Booze

Do you ever feel like a plastic bag
Drifting though PE
Wanting to start again

Do you ever feel, feel so paper thin
Like Vartilingorix
One blow from caving in

Do you ever feel already buried deep
Pinging "Help Me!"
But no one seems to hear a thing

Do you know that there's still a chance for you
'Cause there's a spark in you

You just gotta ignite the light
And let it shine
Just down the wine
Like it's Lliira's Night

'Cause baby you're a boozer
Come on show 'em what you're worth
Make 'em go "Oh, oh, oh!"
As you chug your beer-eer-eer

Baby you're a boozer
Come on let your colors burst
Make 'em go "Oh, oh, oh!"
You're gonna leave here fallin' down down down

You don't have to feel like a waste of space
You're original, cannot be replaced
If you only knew what the future holds
After a party wipe comes a rainbow

Maybe a reason why all the doors are closed
So you can open one that leads you to the perfect guild
Like a lightning bolt, your heart will glow
And when it's time, you'll know

You just gotta ignite the light
And let it shine
Just down the wine
Like it's Lliira's Night

'Cause baby you're a boozer
Come on show 'em what you're worth
Make 'em go "Oh, oh, oh!"
As you chug your beer-eer-eer

Baby you're a boozer
Come on let your colors burst
Make 'em go "Oh, oh, oh!"
You're gonna leave here fallin' down down down

Boom, boom, boom
Even drunker than the moon, moon, moon
It's always been inside of you, you, you
And now it's time to let it through

Hello friends and PE zonechat nemeses! My name is Miles Moonbow, and I'm pretty sure I'm the highest ranking member of WIN OR LOSE WE BOOZE that isn't banned from these forums for posting inappropriate things. I am not at all confident that that sentence is allowed.

We are a happy, loyal, friendly, loud bunch of not-at-all-interested-in-being-censored HAMSTER s, who care not at all about your level or item level, who will absolutely not judge you if you're terrible at DPS but fun to be around, who will absolutely judge you if you're the inverse, and who are always happy to help rectify either of those unfortunate situations if you request help.

If the above describes you, you're already one of us, and should consider coming home.

Some meaningless info people will inevitably ask for:

• We use Teamspeak instead of Discord, because ancient Boozers keep wandering in, and it would make us sad to cut them off.
  
• Current GH level is 13 (upgrade to 14 is in progress).
  
• Yes, that's not GH20. It will be. Faster, if you help us, slower if you don't. Meh.
  
• Yes, BOOZE has been around for several years, but we started over from scratch a little less than a year ago.
  
• Yes, this is the original BOOZE, lead by the original founders of BOOZE (and some cool new officers, like me.)
  
• No, Ember Legion is not BOOZE, though that is the new name of the guild formerly named BOOZE but not lead by us anymore.
  
• IDGAF about whatever drama was involved in that. I wasn't part of it, and I'd like it to not be part of this thread either. Thanks.
  
• Yes, we really did once get kicked from an alliance within 24 hours of joining it because we were discussing Orcus' Balls in alliance chat.
  
• We are currently in the Starks of Winterfell Alliance, which offers enough competent PVE and PVP players to do any and all content with. Alliance-runs for everything occur multiple times a day.
  

Some far more important things:

• We organize frequent guild parties in PE complete with prizes for both guildies and strangers.
  
• We have our own proprietary drinking game utilizing 20-sided-dies and teamspeak, with occasionally excellent prizes.
  
• This does not mean we're going to give you all sorts of expensive stuff for free. The frequency with which you experience random acts of kindness is inversely proportional to how frequently you ask for handouts.
  
• We have pretty ladies and prettier dudes. Sometimes they get drunk and show things on Teamspeak.
  
• We are NOT a family-friendly guild, and our age requirement reflects that. I won't tell you what our age limit is, because if I do, you'll lie to me. Don't lie to me. No one likes liars.
  
• We are happy to teach you all sorts of things about the game -- how to make AD, how to build/play your class, how to use feeder artifacts, how to use quartermaster enchantments, how to upgrade your companions at little or no cost, how to run endgame content, how to maximize double RP weekends -- but we're legitimately more interested in your personality.
  
• Drinking is not actually a requirement. Having a sense of humor is.
  

Please feel free to hit up any of us anytime in game (use guild search!) or send a PM to @nirafelos for careful consideration.

Thank you for your time!

Mod edited out some inappropriate silliness. Removed all-caps from subject title.
Miles edit: GH 13 upgrade complete, GH 14 upgrade in progress. Our guild name is legitimately all caps, but okay, Mod.